Stranded Sweetheart
by Angelic Chocolate Fairy
Summary: Suze is faced with a terrible descision after a surprise visit from Madam Zara. But what happens if she has the task of making Jesse fall in love with her all over again? Will destiny swing in her favour? Or is she destined to stay in a half life forever?
1. Twisted Love

"**Come here sweetheart." came the soft voice from behind me. I turned to find an old woman sitting on one of the many scattered benches; that littered the park. I glanced around unhappily. I didn't like it here.**

**Then suddenly the scene changed as the open field, morphed into grey walls. Making the enclosed space feel much smaller than it actually was.**

**I stared in horror as the floor disappeared and I was left tumbling through space. When I landed it didn't hurt like I'd expected, instead I had the feeling that I was floating.**

**But I was on the beach. I felt confused at what I saw. It was Carmel.**

**I looked around and saw the old lady standing beside me. I'm sure I jumped, like, ten feet in the air. I pressed a hand over my heart. I had a funny feeling it was going to burst out of my chest soon.**

**I looked at her curiously and asked, "Where am I?" **

**She gave me a small smile and shrugged her shoulders. I felt a bit uneasy about the way she was looking at me.**

"**Where do you want to be?" she asked me quietly. I looked at her in disbelief. Was this woman for real? I had the funny feeling I recognised her to. From somewhere I couldn't quiet put my finger on……………………………**

**Then it snapped into place. Madam Zara.**

"**Oh my God." I whispered feeling way freaked out. What was happening here?**

**She just gave me another small, answering smile and replied,**

"**Yes my dear. I came here to give you a message. A most urgent message at that." She told me hurriedly. She grabbed my hand for emphasis. **

"**Where am I?" I asked again. She frowned slightly as she released my hand. I looked around at the greying walls again. Then down at the floor. Mist. Corridors. Oh no.**

"**I bought you to the Shadowland." She answered me gravely. I felt myself shiver inwardly at her words.**

"**I had no choice. You and I are connected through your shifter strengths. I merely had to tug at your mind a bit. In the normal world you're asleep. You just happen to be dreaming reality." I stepped back from her as if she'd slapped me. **

**She'd brought me here? How? And since when were dreams real? I shivered again, trying not to picture being trapped in here for eternity.**

"**Why did you bring me here?" I asked with a gulp. I felt way less confident up here, than I did down on Earth. Like I was a different person or something.**

"**I came to explain about my last reading." She told me softly. Not that I understood it much. What reading? As if she read my mind she continued,**

"**You didn't understand what I meant about you finding your true love. I felt I must explain it to you properly. Every destiny as two paths. I came here to give you your choices."**

**I blinked at her stupidly for a moment. Then when I finally managed to clamp my jaw shut and get ready to reply, I grabbed at my heart again. This time for a different reason. It felt like it was clawing its way out of my chest. For real.**

**She looked at me hurriedly again, all her friendly air forgotten. I glanced at my hand. It was fading into an opaque mist. I screamed in horror, as she clamped a hand over my mouth.**

"**Our time now is up." She told me in a hushed whisper, "He is calling you. I don't have a strong enough grasp on you to hold you here."**

"**What?" I asked stupidly again. She ignored me and continued.**

"**I will meet with you soon. But for now remember. Two eyes are always watching you." And with that I was flung backwards, falling as if forever.**

**And woke up in Jesse's arms. He shook me as if I where a rag doll that needed to sit up. I opened my eyes groggily and put a hand to my head.**

"**Ow. That hurt." I muttered to myself. He shook me again drawing my attention to his presence.**

"**Susannah! What happened? Where did you……Where did you go?" it wasn't just my imagination that he actually sounded…..well, shaken. Like I'd scared him.**

**I leaned into his arms heavily and breathed a sigh of relief in his closeness.**

"**I have no idea." **


	2. The Meaning of Fate

**Jesse didn't leave me for a long time last night. He insisted on me explaining everything to him. Twice. Then he just watched me. He said that that way he could make sure I didn't get dragged back into another dream with Madam Zara. **

**Part of me was glad that he wanted to stop me going back there. I had to admit that it had been very scary. Well, not exactly scary, more un-nerving. Is that the same thing? I hadn't expected it and god knows I didn't understand it. As usual in my line of work. But there was a small part of me that was really curious about what she'd meant. Especially the bit about my one-true-love-that-will-last-eternity.**

**I'd been thinking about it a lot recently. But there hadn't been much of a question mark hanging over it. It had to be Jesse. My one true love I mean. It _had_ to be him.**

**If it wasn't then I was in big trouble. Imagine if it was _Paul? _I'd rather cut out my own tongue out; and let me tell you now, that would be a huge thing for me. I so fully couldn't survive without talking.**

**It's silly really. I bet there are much worse things that could happen to someone. But I love my own voice too much to lose it. This is why I am desperate to get enough good karma to get through those pearly gates. I'm not waiting here on my own for a hundred years with no-one to talk to. Unless Jesse was with me of course. Then I'd make an exception.**

**I stopped day-dreaming for a moment as Jesse held out his hand. I took it and hurried down the steps beside him. He'd made me get to school early so that we had time to discuss with Father Dom. There is one huge problem with this idea: I didn't tell Jesse about the 'One True Love' thing. I just couldn't. I haven't got a clue why it's such a big deal, but I…well I just couldn't. But now I was going to have to anyway.**

**We sped through the courtyard quickly, but I felt the need to stop him. To ask him something that had been bothering me since he woke me up last night.**

"**Jesse, I need to ask you something." I told him softly. He stopped abruptly making me crash into him. He steadied me with two hands. Then peered down at me curiously.**

"**What is wrong? He asked me as I shook my head burying tears. I felt really emotional for a weird reason. And I wasn't even going to bother blaming allergies. I was perfectly aware of my discomfort in the whole situation. I mean, it isn't every day you get sucked into another dimension and get told that something was 'Watching you' or whatever it is she told me. I can't really remember.**

"**How did you get me out of there yesterday?" I asked him quietly. Something she'd said had stuck in my mind. When she told me someone else was pulling me out of the dream she'd created.**

**Jesse looked confused before replying simply:**

"**I just called you." **

"**Uh…..no offence Jesse, but I really don't get what you mean. What is 'calling' people? You've mentioned it before, but I never understood it." **

**I couldn't believe we were having this conversation. In _my school _of all places. But I guess, beggars can't be chooses. And I was very curious. So I guess I could put up with the not-so romantic surroundings.**

"**I don't really understand it all myself." He admitted calmly, clearly choosing his words carefully. **

"**But from what I can gather, you can only call someone when you have a strong emotion for them. Whether it be anger, hatred, fear, jealousy………….or love."**

**And let me tell you, in that moment in time all my little thoughts about what the hell was going on faded, because he'd just admitted it to me. Well not in the exact words, but still. **

**He'd said he loved me! **

**Even before we kissed in the graveyard he hadn't said that. I knew he felt it. But he'd never actually _said_ it. And I guess you could say he hadn't said it now either. But it was close enough for me. Especially when he pulled me towards him and kissed me.**

"**Come on." he whispered as he continued to pull me along. And you know what? I really didn't care anymore. **

**Cause he loves me!**

**I just hope Father Dom's just as understanding. I have a funny feeling he isn't going to let the whole thing slide. The Jesse kissing me thing. And I know there is no way he could find out unless someone tells him. But what if Jesse tells him? **

**Oh dear. **


	3. Gateway to Hell

"**Susannah I absolutely forbid this." **

**I sighed. Father Dom was reacting way worse than I'd expected. What am I saying? I_ knew_ he'd react like this. I threw Jesse an annoyed look that he chose to ignore. I had been right about him 'discussing our relationship' with Father D. He'd done it pretty much as soon as we'd stepped through the door. What he'd been expecting I'll never know. The good father to embrace us with open arms? I don't think so.**

"**Look. I know you feel…um, strongly about this thing. But there isn't actually much you can do. It's our decision not yours." I said in my usual over-confident manner. **

**What can I say? I was bored. The conversation was getting rather tiring. So I decided to play the difficult hormonal teenager. It didn't take much effort. I've kind of fallen into the pattern of being awkward. Not that much of it's really my fault. You try living in a city where over one hundred people die in a day for sixteen years. Then balance that out with homework and attempting to arrive at school on-time. I'll tell you know: it was hard. So excuse me for being a bit touchy sometimes…………………..**

"**Yes he can." Jesse answered me softly. I looked at him in confusion, "If the church does not approve then I cannot go against….."**

"**JESSE!" I yelled angrily. He has got to be kidding me. I don't even believe in all that stuff. Why should Father Dom get to speak for the church anyway? He doesn't own it.**

"**Susannah……" he began sounding slightly tired. I ignored him and continued my going mental. What was he on?**

"**Jesse, let me fill you in on something ok? This is the 21st century. The time of freedom and pot noodles. NO-ONE and I repeat NO-ONE needs permission from the church to date any more." **

"**That may be so Susannah. But I was not born into your time of –what was it again? - freedom and pot noodles. I believe in the old….."  
**

"**Jesus, Jesse!"**

"**Susannah!" Father Dominic barked sharply giving me a warning look.**

"**Kindly refrain from using the Lord's name in vain in my presence. I do realise that you have little respect for the churches rules, but please show the courtesy to keep that kind of language for outside this room." I rolled my eyes at him in annoyance. I swear he spends half of his time telling what to not do or say. It's getting monotonous. **

"**I just don't see why peoples' lives should be governed by some stupid idea that certain people are wrong together. I mean. Look at Tom and Jerry. Different species but still best friends." **

"**Susannah. Much as I appreciate your innocent wisdom on the matter, I must assure you. Some people are wrong together. And no matter how much they love each other, nothing can change that fact." He paused to study me sadly.**

"**I also feel the need to point out. Tom and Jerry were enemies that happened to get thrown together. They could never be friends even if they had wanted to."**

**I sat in a stunned silence. Had Tom and Jerry really been enemies? I always thought they looked kind of cute together. Oh great. Now I'd given him an example of how people don't match up.**

"**He is right Susannah." Jesse breathed unhappily, "Maybe it would be better if……"**

"**No WAY Jesse! You hear me? No freaking way." I took that opportunity to stand up and stride towards the door.**

"**Sorry to have taken up so much of your time Father D. I'll be back later. Right now I have some research to do on the latest person to pull me into the never-ending hell which is the Shadowland. Then maybe I can figure out what her stupid clues mean before she attempts killing me. Don't you think that's a great plan?" I asked sarcastically. **

**Father Dom was looking from me to Jesse in…what I'd guess for him was extreme confusion. Can't blame the poor guy. We'd been so caught up on the relationship 'issue' that we'd never even mentioned it. **

**I heard Jesse give out an annoyed groan. I made special effort not to look at him. I think we had enough to say that'd merit a second meeting anyway. This time: alone. What had Jesse been thinking?**

"**Anyway. Got to run if I'm going to catch up with Cee-Cee on time. See you later." I said pointedly at Jesse. He seemed to get the message, if the grim look in his eyes was any indication.**

**With that, I turned the door knob and stormed out. Straight into the receptionist. Great going Suze, I thought angrily.**

**Luckily the door had slammed shut by then. Wouldn't it have been embarrassing if they had seen me slam into her? Her files dropped to the floor with a smash. I looked down at her worriedly. **

"**Oh my god!" I screeched, bending down to help her pick them up. Father Dom wasn't here to yell at me for blaspheming so I was good.**

"**Are you ok? Let me help you." I continued hurriedly. I was babbling but I didn't really care. I guess she understood me, as she smiled up at me happily. A little too happily actually. Like she'd drunk too much champagne today. I wanted to be polite though so I continued to pick up her things.**

"**Um….are you ok m'am? I mean, you didn't hit your head or anything did you?" I asked clearly. What I really wanted to ask was where she'd hidden the bottle. But you know. Good old angel Suze. **

**She flashed me another of those un-nerving smiles and licked her lips. Her gaze was unsteady and her eyes slightly dull. She did not look well at all.**

"**She's coming." The girl choked in complete fear. I could see it naked on her face. I grabbed her shoulders and shook her. This was not normal. Not even for a drunk girl.**

"**Who? What are you talking about?" I asked in a commanding voice. But it was as if she wasn't even listening. Or maybe she just couldn't hear me. Her body began to spasm in my grasp and her eyes rolled back into her head. I stared in horror as her mouth curled into another evil smile.**

"**Help me!" she screeched as she collapsed forwards onto me. Like a shell of her former being. I lay her onto the floor and pushed back some of her auburn hair uncertainly. Should I get Father D? Or Jesse? Yes Jesse! He'd know what to do right? **

**I gave her one last glance before hurrying to open the door. But just as I did so the girl's head turned towards me. Like a robotic doll. I hate it when they do that.**

"**She's HERE!" she screamed. I felt a sharp tug as the door flew open. But what I saw inside wasn't Father D's office. Oh no. It was hell. My hell. The Shadowland.**

**Endless clouds of mist swirled beneath my feet as I thought to catch my breath. This was not happening. It was just a nightmare. Just another nightmare.**

**The door swung on its hinges as mist engulfed the room. Other doors flew against the walls, forming a long line. Then my door slammed shut. It was just another door. Just another door in the endless corridor.**

**I choked on my own air as I spun around. Only to find I wasn't alone. She was here. Madam Zara. **

**Oh God, I know I haven't been great in the past. **

**But please help me.**


	4. Truth or Dare

**I swear the Shadowland should come with a health warning. I'm seriously considering complaining to the Mediator council about the whole thing. I don't actually think there is a Mediator Council, but whatever. **

**Then of course there's the whole _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ thing. I mean, why should she get a council and not us Mediator's? Granted her council turned out to be corrupt and evil, but still.**

**I stared around in annoyance. Madam Zara was really starting to piss me off now. First she drags me out of a perfectly good nights sleep. Then this.**

**She smiled at me sadly, her eyes filled with infinite regret.**

"**Hello Sweetheart." She whispered softly. I felt my insides turn to water as an instant chill swept over me. There was something wrong. Something very wrong with the way she was looking at me.**

"**Um, hi." I replied intelligently. She gave me another grave smile as she moved closer. I sucked in an involuntary breath.**

"**Don't be afraid child." She whispered just as softly as before. **

"**Excuse me. But you just possessed the body of my headmaster's secretary in order to suck me into this hell hole. If I want to be afraid I will be."**

"**This isn't hell." she answered me. Totally disregarding my anger and instead looked at me thoughtfully.**

"**It is what you make it." She told me. **

"**I beg your pardon?" **

"**This place. The shadowland as you call it. It isn't reality, so therefore it has no true form. It appears as you wish to see it. I showed you that the first time I called you up here."**

**I stared at her in disbelieve. What the hell is it with people and cryptic messages?**

"**I…..when me and Jesse came up here before, we both saw the same thing." I told her uncertainly.**

"**No you didn't. You both were very afraid of something you had no control over. You would have had different approximations of it. Yet, you both feared the same thing. For your life, Susannah. So maybe your Shadowland is similar to his after all."**

**She seemed to consider her theory for a moment before I broke my confused silence.**

"**So you're saying, this isn't how everyone sees the Shadowland?" **

**She let out a short cackle, and threw me another un-nerving smile.**

"**Of course not child. Are you saying that Mr Slater never told you that?" she asked with humour. I however did not see the funny side. Paul was so dead when I got my hands on him.**

"**No. Paul seemed to have missed out that part. Hey, how'd you know him anyway?" she looked suddenly serious as she turned away from me.**

**Another chill swept the room as she turned her cold gaze back on me. I felt like I was trapped in a freezer. The whole room went cold. The mist beneath my feet swirled faster. She was way scarier than even I'd realised. She had the whole look-at-me-and-die-a-painful-death thing down pat.**

"**This isn't going to be easy for you to understand. But please try to." She muttered almost to herself. I nodded slowly.**

"**When you came to me that day, I knew you had the gift. I felt it in your aura. I also knew you'd be a powerful Shifter some day. I couldn't tell you that though. It would have affected your history later on."**

"**How?" I asked, pushing my hair out of my eyes. I was kind of thrown by the fact she thought I was powerful. Go me!**

"**It would have affected how you reacted to Mr Slater. And whether or not you brought Mr De Silva back from the Shadowland. Lots of things." She answered impatiently.**

**I nodded dumbly. I didn't understand at all, but I was listening anyway.**

"**When I told you about your 'love to last till the end of time' I was foolish. I with-held information from you because of your friend. I did not wish to reveal your secrets to someone you had not yet shared it with. So I didn't tell you."**

"**Didn't tell me what?" I asked confused again.**

"**Every path in destiny has choices attached to it. Fate does not have one option. It merely guides us along the path of many. You had two options. You still have two options." She looked at me with her disturbingly clear eyes.**

"**I don't understand."**

"**You don't have to. It has been set. You cheated death many times, meaning your fate must soon reveal itself. You are on borrowed time and it is running out. You have been given the most basic of options. The light or the dark."**

"**I still don't get it." I said shaking my head. She was mad, and I had to find a way to get away from her.**

"**Your choices were set many centuries ago by the Shifters of old. You must now choose: Mr Slater or Mr De Silva."**

**I shook my head. I couldn't believe this. It was really starting to freak me out again. I was scared, but at the same time strangely curious. I felt an urge to understand it all. After all it was my destiny.**

**Then what she said sunk in. Jesse or Paul? Well that wasn't difficult. I already knew who I loved. Jesse.**

**She gave a small laugh.**

"**I'm afraid it isn't as simple as who you are in love with. You could love them both, don't deny the fact. It was meant to be that why. Yet Mr De Silva is the man you have chosen. I am pleased to say he loves you as well. Maybe even more so than you realise. Unfortunately fate has rules."  
**

**I swallowed. Can she read minds or something? This was getting kind of creepy.**

"**What rules?" I asked in a slightly shaky voice. She didn't seem to notice however. She brushed down her lilac top with one wrinkled hand before looking back up at me.**

"**There are many rules that bind fate. Many are too complex for you to ever even try to understand. But yours are simple. Choose Mr Slater and live your life in the darkness with every treasure you could wish for. Choose Mr De Silva and live in limbo. You will never be able to leave this earth once you die. Which will come swiftly from the hands of his rival."**

"**Are you saying if I choose Jesse then I'll be killed by _Paul?_"**

**The whole thing seemed far too far-fetched for me. She was obviously mad. So what was I doing hanging around?**

**I tried shifting out of there.**

**It didn't work.**

"**You can't get out of here without my say so." She told me with a soft smile. But even as she said it, I felt the same tug as before. Pulling me backwards this time. Further and further away from her.**

**When I woke up I was spread out on the floor. The secretary beside me was sobbing softly as I lifted my head to look at her. I whipped my head around half expecting to see Madam Zara lurking in a corner somewhere. **

**But all I saw was the floor covered in files and papers. She'd screwed up the office but good. I put a hand to my head feeling dizzy. Like I'd gone round on the merry-go-round too many times.**

"**She's breathing again Jesse! Thank God!" I looked up to see Father Dom pulling a fluffy rug around me. I shivered. I did not feel good right now. I felt incredibly weak. Like all the life had been drained out of me. Next I felt someone's arms wrap around mine.**

"**Susannah!" Jesse said pulling me towards him, "I thought I told you to never do that to me again?" **

**Is it just my imagination or does Jesse sound…..well scared? He pulled me against him protectively. If only I could stop shivering.**

"**What happened?" he asked weakly. I gulped.**

"**Jesse. There's something that I've got to tell you."**


	5. End of Time

**It took me some time to finally calm them both down. Jesse especially. He kept shooting me concerned glances that I found easier to ignore. I was still plenty angry with him for now.**

**Father Dominic was sitting opposite me looking extremely troubled. **

"**I don't understand." He muttered in confusion, "So you're saying that the same psychic that you mentioned to me before is pulling your soul into the Shadowland?" **

**I nodded kind of dazedly. I was still going over what she'd said to me in horror. I had to choose Paul. That's pretty much what she'd meant anyway. Choosing Jesse would be handing myself a death warrant.**

"**What do you mean 'that you mentioned to me before'?" Jesse asked looking visibly even more confused than I was. I threw Father D a warning look. I wanted to tell the story –the whole story- myself. It was about time I came clean with him on this one.**

"**When I was younger, Gina made me go see this psychic woman with her."**

"**Madam Zara." He injected.**

"**Yes." I agreed calmly, "She told me that I was a mediator. Gina always loves to bring up that one." I added as an afterthought. **

"**And….." Jesse prompted causing me to look at him –I mean really look at him- for the first time since I'd woken up. I closed my eyes briefly in a moment of weakness.**

"**She told me that I'd have one true love," I whispered softly, "and that that love would last till the end of time." I risked a glance back up at him. As our gazes locked I felt the familiar connection. The familiar knowledge that he was that person. I don't know if something in my eyes gave me away, but I saw the change in him as he realised what I meant.**

**It broke my heart that I was going to tell him the rest.**

"**What did she tell you when she talked to you today Susannah?" Father Dominic asked, not noticing the way Jesse's gaze stayed fixed on mine the whole time. **

"**She said that she had not told me everything when she gave me my first reading." I replied sadly. I could already feel familiar tears gathering in my eyes. How could I tell Jesse this?**

"**_Hey Jesse, you're my one true love. But guess what? It doesn't matter. I'm going to go get married to your arch enemy instead or he'll kill me."_**

**Jesse looked at me curiously from where he was standing. I guess he must have noticed the waterworks beginning. Why can't I ever just put a brave face on things?**

"**Susannah….." he began, but he was interrupted as the door flew open and Paul strode it.**

"**Where's the stampede?" he asked mockingly, staring back at the demolished waiting room. But that's all it took to break me. I felt the first tears fall as I stormed out of the room.**

**I was crying, mostly because I finally had a plan. If I couldn't have Jesse then I'd just have to not have anyone. I'd just be single my whole life. There was no rule involving that right?**

**I rushed out of the school grounds feeling completely empty. My life was over. How was I meant to survive seeing Jesse every day but never being able to tell him how I felt? **

**I felt a hand close around my wrist as I swivelled round, right into Jesse. I could hear my heart beating in my throat as his other hand came up to seize my other hand. It took me a few seconds to realise why. I was desperately struggling to get away from him. Anything that brought us together was dangerous now. That meant no more talking about things he'd never be able to understand.**

"**Let go of me." I hissed through gritted teeth. He looked down at me in utter confusion.**

"**_Querida_, what's wrong?" he asked me. _Do not melt, _I told myself firmly. But my body ignored my instruction. **

"**Right now it's the fact you're not letting go." I answered in my most angry voice. Or that's what I told myself anyway. I had a feeling it sounded more like a terrified little girls'.**

**He dropped my arms so that they fell limply at my sides. I rubbed one of them in annoyance. I was startled to find he had moved closer, closing the gap between us. I looked up at him in horror. This was not supposed to happen.**

"**Susannah….." he whispered, brushing back some of my hair gently. I could feel my defences weakening already. He was way too close.**

"**Get away from me." I told him softly. But he just kept moving closer, as if he was hypnotised by me. I'm ashamed to say I wasn't much better. I'm pretty sure my arms wrapped around his neck closing the distance between us even before he touched me.**

"**Stop doing this." I whispered weakly as he bent down and kissed me.**


	6. The Choice

**New plan: don't kiss Jesse De Silva. It only makes things ten times worse, because when you run away he thinks it's his fault and follows you home. Well, that's what happened with me anyway. But what else could I have done? Nothing. And do you know why? Because I'm an idiot that let my self fall in love with a ghost.**

"**Susannah, tell me what is wrong."**

"**Look Jesse, we've already gone over this conversation. It is the fact you keep assuming something is wrong and following me home." I told him harshly. **

**I actually felt bad about talking to him like that. He didn't deserve it. It wasn't his fault I had a screwed up destiny. I guess I could blame the universe for it. That's it; I'll just blame the same dude that made me a mediator.**

"**Susannah……" he whispered, sounding slightly hurt. I closed my eyes again. I hate it when my heart does that little flip flop thing. It's worse than the melting feeling.**

"**Jesse just go." **

**When I said it I half expected him to stay I have to admit. But with one last confused look at me he went. Then it was left up to the tears to make me feel worse. I decided I didn't want to sit inside all evening thinking about it. Instead I went _outside _to think about it.**

**I walked along the narrow sands of Carmel Bay, grateful for the emotional release I got from it. Maybe things would work out for the better. At least now I don't have to worry about anything. My destiny would decide it for me.**

"**Now what's a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?" came an amused voice from behind me.**

"**Get lost Paul." I muttered, picking up my pace. I did not need this right now.**

"**Now what," he asked calmly, "is up with you? You've been on emotional overload all day."**

"**Tell me about it." I whispered, looking at the sea. It was so free and calm. So unlike me.**

"**Look, can you at least tell me what's wrong? Cause I've lived with a woman for sixteen years so I know it isn't hormones."**

**I looked at him startled. Who was this mystery girl he'd kept locked away. Wait a minute…**

"**My mom." He grinned, seeing the shocked expression on my face.**

"**Of course." I muttered, stopping abruptly.**

"**Wait a minute. Why are you following me?" I asked tiredly. Today had been _way_ to long.**

"**I'm not. I'm merely walking in exactly the same direction and talking to myself."**

**I rolled my eyes and turned back towards the house. He put out an arm to stop me though.**

"**Look, is this about the psychic girl?" he asked slyly. I stopped trying to move around him and just stared.**

"**What?"**

"**She came to me too. Something about us being meant to be together."**

"**I'm sorry Paul, but I know who I'm meant to be with already."**

"**She said you didn't have a choice." He reminded me softly. I could almost see the triumphant glint in his eyes. Oh great, he's got me. What am I going to say now?**

"**Yeah well, I bent the rules." I said with a brief smile. I tried to move around him but he just held me back.**

"**You can't just bend the rules of fate. This is what was_ meant_ to happen."**

"**No. Me and Jesse were meant to be together." I whispered back. His whole body became rigid as if I'd hit him.**

"**You don't know what you're talking about."**

"**Yes I do. I love him Paul. Nothing anyway says or does can change that."**

**He stood there for a moment just staring at me. I was silently cursing myself for coming on this stupid walk on the first place.**

"**So you choose him. Even though destiny says….."**

"**Yes." I replied without even thinking. It was only afterwards that I realised what I'd done. I'd chosen my destiny. Oh damn.**

"**Fine." He said shortly, "If you want him, have him. But I have a feeling it won't last very long. If we're not together….."**

"**Then I die?" I offered helpfully. I was being sardonic but whatever. He lifted me slightly into the air. It wasn't exactly hard; he was like 3 inches taller than me. I don't know what exactly he planned to do once he had me in the air. I mean I guess he could throw me into the sea. But I doubt it's nearly as dramatic as in the movies.**

**I think he was going to kill me. Maybe not intentionally but still. Death is death after all. **

"**Keep your hands off her." then another force whacking Paul in the skull, and sending me falling onto the ground. I got up painfully.**

"**Gee, thanks for rescuing me Jesse." I said sarcastically. Not that he was paying much attention to me now. He'd already turned back to Paul ready to pound him. That is until good old saint Suze intervened. Well technically it wasn't my fault. How was I supposed to know a wave was going to come in right at that exact moment and drag me backwards? That stopped any pounding on Jesse's part. Cause no matter how bad I'd treated him; he still felt the need to save me.**

**Let me tell you something now though: Sea water is _cold. _I heard the distant splash as Jesse-realising what had happened- jumped in after me. I was actually very impressed with his swimming skills. It only took him like five seconds to reach me and drag me out.**

"**Jesus Jesse, way to make a girl like you." I screeched as I flopped onto the sand sleepily. My day seemed to be getting worse and worse. He looked down at me worriedly, disregarding my last comment.**

"**Are you ok?" he asked. I sighed.**

"**No actually. But I've gotten quite good at pretending I am so I'm sure I'll be ok." **

**He stared at me for a moment like he had something he wanted to ask me. But was- as always –interrupted.**

"**Why do you always call him Suze?" Paul asked looking annoyed.**

"**She didn't," he whispered, "This time I followed her."**

**I blinked at him slowly.**

"**Um, ok Jesse. You do realise you aren't supposed to admit that?" I asked calmly.**

**He gave me a concerned look.**

"**I was worried about you. Something is wrong." **

"**What, so Rico doesn't……" Paul began. But I cut him off by whacking him across the face.**

"**Come near me again and I will personally hold your head under that water myself." I said nodding towards the sea.**

"**Is that a promise?" he asked calmly. But I could see the hidden question behind it.**

"**Yes it is." I answered firmly.**

"**So this is how it is?" he frowned. **

"**Yep, and you better believe it." With that I stood up and began walking back to my house, ringing out my sopping hair as I went.**

"**Hey Suze," came his voice from behind me, "Watch your back."**

**And with that Jesse practically dragged me back home. He stared down at me angrily.**

"**Now tell me what is going on. And this time: no lies."**


	7. The Right to Love

**I hate men. I really do. I should just take a vow never to look at one again. Maybe I should just become a nun. Wouldn't that make things so much simpler? But then there's the whole hair issue. Pony-tales are not a good look for me. I guess it didn't really matter though. I mean, I'm already dead right? Paul's going to kill me. Might as well be honest while I'm still here. God, if it was that simple I would have such an easier time.**

"**Susannah." Jesse said tonelessly from where he was leaning against my bed post. Glaring at me might I add? It was pretty disorientating. Because when Jesse glares at me I tend to get nervous. Which doesn't help when you want to seem calm and collected.**

"**Jesse please just leave it ok?" I mumbled, keeping my eyes on everything but him. He knew me too well though. **

"**No, I will not 'just leave it'. You are upset and worried. Tell me what is going on."**

**I bit my lip nervously. Should I tell him? If I did then he'd probably go after Paul himself. And even though the prospect is very tempting, I couldn't do that to him. Not because of me. Not again.**

"**Jesse. I can't do this. If I tell you then you'll just go off to kill Paul." I whispered softly. I was aware I had tears in my eyes, and I knew it wasn't to do with allergies. I was just so weak at the moment. Emotionally and physically. **

**Jesse walked over and sat down beside me on the window seat, looking down at me with concern. Spike hissed at him, but he ignored it. You know he's serious when he ignores the cat.**

"**Susannah, please just let me help." He said, brushing back some of my hair softly. I closed my eyes. This was not happening. Jesse was mean and nasty and I did not love him.**

**_Liar, _was my brains witty reply.**

"**I, look Jesse, I can't. I won't. I don't want to get you involved in this."**

"**You are in trouble. I already am involved." I was so startled by his words that I had to look up. Which was a huge mistake. As soon as I looked into his eyes I could feel myself falling all over again.**

"**I love you. Nothing else matters." I whispered softly, squeezing his hand. Now it was his turn to look surprised. **

"**Susannah-"**

"**I'm not going to tell you Jesse." I answered looking away again. **

"**Fine. I will just have to find out from someone else then." He said standing up and striding forwards, dragging me with him. His eyes flashed dangerously as he turned to face me.**

"**We will pay a visit to Paul Slater." He informed me calmly. I shook my head at him in complete shock. Grabbing his hand as he continued to walk towards the door, I made him face me again.**

"**It's him ok? It's Paul."**

"**Paul? What has he done? I saw him trying to harm you earlier, but if he has done anything…."**

"**You don't understand. Madam Zara. When she came to speak to me. It was for a reason."**

"**What has this got to do with Slater?" he asked impatiently. **

"**She, she said I had a choice. Either you or him." I whispered.**

"**And you chose him." He said flatly. I could see his eyes fill with hurt as he began to turn away. He ran a shaking hand through his hair.**

"**No. I chose you." I replied. He stopped his pacing as he turned to face me in disbelieve.**

"**Which means you are an excessively foolish little girl." I felt a shiver go up my spine as I turned to face Madam Zara. She looked at me sternly.**

"**How did you get in here?" I choked in horror, subconsciously backing up to where Jesse was standing. She let out a short laugh.**

"**I had a certain young man exorcise my soul for a while." She answered softly. **

"**And who would that young man be?" I asked in a bare whisper.**

"**Why, your good friend Paul of course."**


	8. Life goes On

"**Why didn't you just tell me?" Jesse asked in a frustrated voice. I flopped down onto my bed in a daze. I couldn't believe that had just happened. Madam Zara told him _everything._**

**I had resolutely decided to hate her from now on. Because even though I kind of guessed how Jesse would react to the news, well let's just say he exceeded my imagination. He had gone completely non-liner. He was up and ready to kill. Paul being the intended victim.**

"**I knew you'd react like this. That's why. I know you way too well." I sighed. He came and sat down beside me, taking both my hands in his.**

"**Susannah this isn't just another one of your challenges. This is destiny." **

"**Well duh Jesse! Don't you think I realise that? I've only been thinking about it non stop for about a week."**

**He brushed my cheek with the back of his hand gently. I could have melted right there and then. But that of course wouldn't have been dignified. So I settled for closing my eyes.**

"**I'm sorry. Have you made your decision?" Jesse asked calmly. My eyes flew open. I sat up and looked him straight in the eye. It was a lot more difficult than it sounds. He is very unnerving when he's all broody.**

"**I already told you. I've chosen you." I answered softly. Jesse closed his eyes briefly before returning his gaze to mine.**

"**You know you can't do that." He said equally as softly. I shook my head at him.**

"**I know I can do that." I replied.**

**He dropped my hands and stared at me hard. It was like he was trying to see what I was thinking. People have been doing that for years. It doesn't tend to work all that well. I'm too confused myself.**

"**No."**

"**Yes. No arguments. I've already made my decision. Besides, Paul knows. I told him earlier on the beach."**

"**You can say you made a mistake."**

"**Jesse….." he grabbed my shoulders roughly and dragged me forwards, so that my face was only inches apart from his own.**

"**I will not let you die for me." he whispered. But even as he said it he was closing the distance between us. He kissed me without even meaning to. Of that I'm sure. It was just like an impulse thing. But I very pleasant one I must say.**

**He broke away from me obviously realising what he'd done. Nice to know I'm really that irresistible to him.**

"**Tough." I panted, feeling slightly out of breath, "I'm not telling Paul I made a mistake. I didn't. I love you Jesse. And no matter what you do, I'm not changing my mind."**

**He shook his head slowly from side to side. But I didn't get to hear what he was going to say. The next thing I knew my door was being slammed open by Dopey. I rolled my eyes at him.**

"**Do you guys ever knock?" I asked acidly. He ignored me and throwing a contemptuous glance at my room said:**

"**Dad's going mental. Dinner started like five minutes ago."**

"**Oh dear." I said sarcastically. Like I didn't have bigger things to worry about than the wrath of my step-father.**

"**Tell him I'll be right down." I told him firmly. He just grinned at me maliciously.**

"**Too late. He said you're already grounded. Sucker." Then he just walked off, clearly happy his job was done.**

**I turned back to ask Jesse what he was going to do, only to find him gone. Great. Now I'm going to have another ghost admirer to deal with. Namely Paul.**

**Why is life so complicated? And why does fate get to make it that way? I tell you now. Destiny sucks.**


	9. Final Hour

**So I admit: I panicked. So what? You would have too if you thought your boyfriend –or okay 'good friend'- went out with the intention of killing someone. The fact that it was all my fault didn't really help much either.**

**So that is why instead of going down for dinner like a good little girl, I grabbed a sweater and climbed out of my window. I'm serious. It was way _Tarzan. _Until the part where I fell on my butt and- I'm pretty certain –broke my coccyx bone. Which will forever more put me off falling off the side of houses. It hurts.**

**I recovered myself pretty quickly. I was determined to find Jesse before he did something stupid. I guess I shouldn't underestimate the guy, but whatever. He seemed to have a huge problem whenever something that involved me getting upset or hurt was concerned. Not that that isn't pretty cool and all. I mean, I'd waited for practically my entire life to find a guy that wasn't repulsed by my inability to be normal. Normal being: a Kelly Prescott wannabe. **

"**Where in heavens name do you think you're going?" **

**The words cut through the eerie silence like a knife. I spun around so fast it made my head rush. She was back.**

"**Don't you ever get bored of following me?" I asked her feeling annoyed. She grimaced as she continued to face me confidently. **

**I felt my hair whipping around my face and could already feel the icy chill coming in from the vast ocean. She however did not seem to notice.**

"**It is my duty to guide you in this time of turmoil." Madam Zara answered in her hushed tone.**

"**Look, I don't need you help. And I certainly don't want you to guide me anywhere. So can you just get lost?" it was more a statement than an actual question, and she took it as such.**

"**Very well, if it is not my guidance you require I will part company with you. But you must understand the reasoning behind your fate. Jesse is dead. It was his destiny to become so. The only way for the prophecy to come true –and for you to love him till the end of time- will be for you to die also. Don't you understand that?"**

**I could hear the soft pleading in her voice, but it didn't matter. Of course I understood what she meant, but that didn't mean I had to actually _agree_ with it. I fixed her with a stony glare before replying in a hushed whisper.**

"**Actually no I don't understand that. You see, I was always brought up to believe that if you love someone, it doesn't matter if you're separated for eternity. You're love will never die even when you're body is long gone."**

**And the thing is: I was telling the truth. I see it in the face of my dad whenever he comes to see me. I saw it softening my mom's features at his funeral. I'd seen it in the eye's of every Romeo and Juliet couple that missed their chance at a lifetime of happiness. And I sure as hell was feeling it now.**

**Sure those people were apart. But they still loved each other more than anything on this earth. And even when they try and move on, they always remember. Because that person formed a part of their heart. Nothing can take that away. Nothing.**

**Not even the realisation that you might have to die to protect that love.**

**I watched as Madam Zara studied me with –if I wasn't mistaken- pride. She was proud of what I had just said.**

"**I never thought I would say this to any of my charges. But you truly do exceed all my expectations. Very well. I will leave before dawn. But I must impress upon you the nature of your position."**

"**I understand everything, but I won't change my mind."**

**She smiled at me softly, "You are a wise girl. Wise beyond your years."**

**I returned her smile sadly. I knew that this was the beginning of the end for me. As if sensing my thoughts, she reached out and laid a hand on my arm.**

"**Do not fret my child. He loves you very much. Of all the things I could wish upon you, none could add up to the strength of his feelings for you."**

**The strange thing was, I found her words comforting. But I had more pressing matters at hand. Such as the dead body I was going to find if I didn't stop Jesse soon. Cause no matter what my destiny said Paul was going to do to me; I couldn't just stand back knowing I could have stopped his murder. I guess that's what makes me so much weaker than him.**

**She gave me another small smile.**

"**He isn't going to kill the boy," she told me calmly, "he merely needed his own space to think. Their paths will not cross again till your final hour nears its end."**

**I swallowed feeling a knot tighten in my stomach. My final hour.**

"**And when will that be?" I asked softly.**

"**Before the twelfth hour of your 17th. He will find you by the pool of reflection." **

**I stared at her in horror as much as confusion.**

"**My 17th? You mean my birthday? That's this month!" I cried in despair. She frowned at me but her tone was detached.**

"**You will die for your life. That is all I can say." she whispered softly.**

"**Die for my life? What does that mean?" I asked in confusion. I could feel the swirling obis of emotions threatening to engulf me entirely. But I pushed them back to a distant corner of my mind. Now was not the time.**

"**I can say no more. I have already shared more than I intended. Farewell sweetheart. All I will say to you is to follow your heart, it shall never steer you wrong."**

**And with that she was gone. Leaving me alone with the echoes of her words shaking me to the core.**


	10. Forever Changed

**I rushed up to the rectory breathlessly. It had only taken me ten minutes to reach it, but it still felt like a life time. If I had one that is.**

**I knocked on the heavy wooden door and waited. Luckily for me I already knew what I would find. Madam Zara had already told me that Jesse wasn't here. Well, technically she'd just said he needed space to think. But I was guessing he wouldn't come here to do it.**

**And I was proved right a second later when Father D opened the door warily. I had that effect on people.**

"**Susannah? What are you doing here at this late hour?" he asked tiredly. I just walked straight on past him and into- what now was effectively –Jesse's home. Father D still had to come in to feed the cat though, seeing as Jesse had limited funds with which to buy stuff. Him being a ghost and all. I guess he could steal it. But again, not very 'Jesse'.**

"**What's happening for my 17th birthday?" I asked bluntly. Father D looked rather taken aback by the seriousness of my tone, but looked politely baffled just the same.**

"**I have no idea what you are talking about. Are you really telling me you came here at 4am to ask me what you're party plans are?" he asked with feinted curiosity. **

**I wasn't falling for it though. He was after all a priest, and a very responsible one at that. Which meant he wasn't very good at lying.**

"**You know exactly what I mean Father D. I heard my mom on the phone to you last week."**

**Father D looked rather affronted by my superb detective skills. Which of course meant I was one hundred percent right. He had organised something. Fear began to set in.**

"**Was it really that obvious?" he asked sounding annoyed. I gave him a wry smile. **

"**Kind of. It's just I wanted to know so I could, um, find the right outfit for the occasion."**

**Okay, so I was lying. I know that I shouldn't of. I mean, the guys a priest. Isn't it like some mortal sin to lie to him? It'd be just my luck to be thrown into hell cause I lied to Father D. But whatever. I guess I could take my chances.**

"**Susannah, I don't think it would be fair on your mother for me to share her plans for……"**

"**Please. I'm really worried about embarrassing her in front of everyone." A blatant lie. But one which he fell for all the same.**

"**Fine," he sighed resignedly, "she's asked to hire out part of the Mission for a dance. Before having a beach party in your honour."**

**I actually gasped. If I hadn't already known that I was going to die that day, I would have been excited. It was so like my mom to organise a perfect birthday just as it's my turn to croak. All those years when I just made do with Gina coming round for cake. Then I finally have a proper birthday planned out and…………….**

"**Are you quite alright?" he asked me worriedly. I must have been day dreaming, but I didn't really care. I knew what I had to do.**

"**Yeah. I'm fine. Listen Father D, I know that we've had our differences and stuff, but thanks. You really did save me in more ways than you know. I'm just sorry it took me this long to admit it."**

**He looked a bit taken aback by what I just said, but finally bowed his head modestly. When he looked up again I saw a light in his eyes I'd never seen before. Pride. **

"**Thank you Susannah. But I must confess that everything you have become since you arrived here was not my doing."**

**I looked at him incredulously, feeling confused. Plus, I knew that if I stayed here much longer the wetness in my eyes would be seriously threatening to fall down my cheeks. I guess its allergy season again.**

"**Of course it was you. Without your help I would be like I was before. And I promise you now, that Suze wasn't very nice. You helped me change."**

**He smiled at me softly.**

"**I never changed you. You were like that because you had to be. It was when you met Jesse that you realised who you truly were. You never changed at all. You just found happiness."**

**He said the bit about Jesse sombrely. But I knew what it had taken for him to admit it. He had no idea what his words meant to me. He'd just unsuspectingly told me my decision was right. Jesse was my true love. Even Father D admitted it. **

**I don't know what came over me, but the next thing I knew I had stepped forward and hugged him.**

"**Thank you." I told him softly. I was more grateful than he'd ever know.**

**He looked a bit uncomfortable dealing with an emotional teenager. I guess it could be due to the fact I was crying as well. When I finally pulled away I gave him a small watery smile.**

**Then I turned back towards the door to leave. I wouldn't tell him. I'd just let him remember me as I was. And not the bad ungrateful Suze either. At least now I'd set things straight with the old guy. **

"**Goodbye Susannah." He said as I stepped out of the door.**

"**Goodbye Father D." I whispered back.**

**And that was that. My final week. One week to make up for all the bad stuff I'd said. One week before I died.**


	11. Wrong Turn

**I had a feeling that Paul wanted to speed up the 'Me dying' process. He'd been bumping into me deliberately all day. Not that anyone saw it as a huge problem. Because even though I knew I was going to die, no-one else did. Not that most of them would care even if I did tell them. I watched as Kelly Prescott flipped her golden hair at me dismissively. She'd hated my guts ever since Paul had blown her off after she invited him to her Pool Party last month. Her friends threw me dirty glances as they rushed away, whispering hurriedly. It would seem I was the new public enemy number one. Or close. I had a feeling she'd be slightly more forgiving if Paul stopped liking me. Which could be possible.**

"**Miss me Suze?" Paul whispered in my ear. I jumped about ten feet in the air. That's how scared I was. Plus I could feel my heart drumming wildly in my chest. And not in a nice way.**

**So much for the: him not liking me plan.**

"**Get lost Paul." I muttered, as I continued walking through the cool breezeway of the Mission Academy. He didn't seem to get the hint though.**

"**Actually I can't, seeing as you and me? Yeah. Well, we _really_ need to talk."**

**I was about to tell him how I wasn't going anywhere with a 'murdering Satan wannabe like him'. That is until he grabbed my arm and dragged me into the boy's toilets. Yeah, that's right. I was in hell.**

"**Sorry about that." He told me, while twisting the lock so that no-one else could come in and interrupt us. Great. Now I'm going to die in a _toilet._**

"**No you aren't sorry. You just say that in the vein hope I may like you for it." I informed him huffily.**

**He turned his icy eyes on me dangerously. I could tell I'd hit a nerve.**

"**Yeah that's right Suze. Make me out to be the bad guy again." **

"**Um…I hate to break it to you Paul, but you _are_ the bad guy. That's why you've locked me in the guys' toilets." **

**He shot a scornful look at me, before taking a step forwards. He was mad. I don't think I'd ever seen him like this. Not even when I jabbed my thumb in his eye socket.**

"**I'm not as bad as you like to think I am." He informed me softly. He accompanied his gentle tone by capturing my hand in his and stroking it with his thumb. I shivered inwardly as I drew back. Only I couldn't, because he caught my other arm in a vice-like grip. I gasped in pain. **

"**Actually, you are." I choked out, as I yanked myself away from him. He smiled at me a little and lent against the graffiti covered wall calmly. But I could see the emotions raging havoc in his eyes. Had I mentioned how much they resembled ice? His eyes I mean. They were as cold as I'd ever seen them. **

"**Just because you met him first, doesn't mean you have to stay with him." He told me in the same lunatic-calmness that consumed the rest of his body. He didn't need to specify who 'he' was.**

"**I love him Paul. Something that you will never be able to understand." **

**Okay, so I was being hard on the guy. So what? I'd just been told I was going to be murdered by him. That is not exactly a great basis for a blossoming friendship. **

"**Why can't you believe I love you Suze?" he asked quietly. His tone was flat, but his eyes were full of heavy searching. Like he was trying to rip away my outer shell and see what I really felt. Unfortunately he didn't find what he'd wanted to.**

"**Because you don't." I replied simply. **

"**Yes I do."**

"**No you don't."**

"**Okay fine. Have it your way. If it makes you feel better about you and Rico, by thinking I don't feel the same. Fine. He's coming to your party right? Maybe I'll get to talk to him there."**

**Suddenly my whole body froze with stark white terror. Before I had been deliberately dismissive. But now he'd mentioned it. He was going to be there. Madam Zara was right.**

"**No, he isn't coming. I haven't told him about it yet. And I'm not going to be there either. I've decided to cancel it." I told him shakily. He grinned.**

**It was the first time he'd done so since he'd locked me away with him. And it was truly devastating. Because no matter how huge his grin was, his eyes remained the same. Distant and detached, like always. Did he even have a heart?**

"**I doubt it. You know your mom has already organised the whole thing. The invites went out weeks ago. How exactly do you plan to break it to her? The fact that she did it all for nothing I mean?"**

**He had me. He had me and he knew it. I couldn't stop her. She'd never listen to my arguments against it. What was I going to say? **

"**_Oh yeah mom. About the party you spent months preparing for me? Yeah, well you see you have to cancel the whole thing. Because if I go I'm going to get murdered by the hot guy that lives in the mansion down the road. Why you ask? Oh, it's just that I'm a Mediator- which is a liaison between the living and the dead –and I just happened to fall in love with his arch enemy. Who also happens to be a 150 year old ghost, that got murdered by the boyfriend of the chick that wrote those letters we found in the garden. Is that ok?"_**

**Yeah, like that's ever going to happen.**

"**Fine. So kill me already. Get it over with. You don't need to wait for my party. Just do it now." I told him angrily.**

**He looked at me in confusion for a moment. It was the first time in the whole day that he didn't seem to get what the hell I was going on about.**

"**_What? _What is it with you and thinking that I want to murder you? Jesus Simon." **

**I blinked at him, feeling as confused as he clearly was. How come he didn't want to kill me? **

**I never got to find out, as just as I pried my mouth open ready to ask him, there was a heavy knock on the door.**

"**Hey! Who's in there?" I recognised the idiotic slurring instantly. Dopey. **

**I looked at Paul frantically. Not that he seemed to be paying much attention to the guy practically knocking down the door. He seemed to be caught up in what I'd told him before.**

**I took matters into my own hands, as I hoisted myself upwards onto one of the tiny window ledges. It was just big enough for me to jump through. Luckily the Mission was only one story. Otherwise I would have been in trouble. **

**Paul seemed to snap out of his confused state long enough to take in the scene around him. When his eyes rested on me, I could almost feel the anger burning beneath the surface.**

"**This isn't finished." He told me simply, as he turned towards the latch to open the door, for a very disgruntled Dopey. But before he twisted it the whole way, I managed to get in the final word.**

"**You're right, it isn't. But soon it will be. One way or another."**

**Then I slid out and walked away, carefully ignoring Paul yelling at me from inside. **

**2 days left.**


	12. Dreams for Sale

**I rushed up the stairs so fast I felt like my legs might drop off. I wasn't joking either. I could feel my muscles protesting at the heavy duty running I was doing. Not that I had much choice. I had to catch Jesse before the party. Unfortunately when I reached my bedroom, I could see clearly that he was already gone. He probably hadn't even been there in the first place, I thought hopelessly as I flopped down onto my bed. I let out a long sigh. Today was the day.**

"**Knock, knock." I recognised my mom's voice instantly. She didn't wait for me to answer. Instead she just walked straight on in, with what seemed to be a large black bag draped over one shoulder.**

"**Hey mom." I said with a small smile. I didn't feel up to the small talk. I could barely even look at her without feeling guilty. Because now I had to leave her. Just like dad did. Not that he wanted to, but that's beside the point.**

"**Hey honey. Happy birthday!" she grinned, pulling me into a big hug. It was kind of nice. Knowing that –at least for now- she was here for me. Loved me.**

"**Mom about the party….." I began slowly. What excuse should I use? I wondered abstractly. That I was too ill to go? **

**But then she did something horrible: she showed me what was inside the black bag. And as soon as I saw it, I couldn't tell to her. I was too shocked.**

"**Oh it's beautiful." I whispered, running a hand along the silk surface in amazement. A dress. And not just any dress. It was the one I'd seen in my mom's clothes magazine. I'd wanted it so bad for prom. But I also knew I'd never have enough money for it.**

"**I got it custom made for you." She told me happily, as I continued to stare at it in shock.**

"**But mom, this must have cost you a fortune!" I shrieked. **

**She gave me another squeeze, and stroked my hair away from my face. I couldn't help but feel brain dead. It was beautiful.**

"**The money isn't a problem. We spent at least that amount on Brad's car last summer. But seeing as you're quite content to use my car, well, this just makes up for it. I saw you looking at it before. Think of it as a joint birthday present from me and your father."  
**

**I looked from her, to the dress, and back again.**

"**Dad?" I echoed weakly. She smiled sadly.**

"**He would have been so proud of you Suzie. It's so sad that he never got to see you growing into such a wonderful person. But I know for a fact that he'd want you to enjoy your special day." She told me, as she pulled me to my feet again.**

**Little did she know that dad had never left. Well, at least not as far as I was concerned anyway.**

"**Thank you so much mom. It's just I can't accept this because……….."**

"**Don't be silly! Do you think I ordered this thing for nothing? Go try it on." **

**I studied her carefully for a moment. I wanted to tell her the truth. God knows I did. But I couldn't. Because of what she'd just called me. **

**_Such a wonderful person._**

**Plus the dress was amazing. So with one last hasty glance in her direction, I headed to the bathroom. I was quite aware of the fact that, this would probably be the last thing I ever wore. I stepped out of the bathroom feeling self-conscious. It felt strange wearing something I'd seen in a magazine, just a couple of months ago.**

**I heard my mom gasp as I took my position in the centre of the room and did a little twirl.**

"**Well what do you think?" I asked her nervously. She just smiled, with tears in her eyes.**

"**Oh you look beautiful. See for yourself." She pointed to the full length mirror at the end of my room. I took a deep breath before stepping in front of it. And even I didn't recognise myself.**

**The pale pink bodes enhanced my already tiny waist, with tiny flowers dotted about on it expertly. You could almost see the work that had gone into it. All the way down to where the flowing material poofed out into a beautiful fuchsia skirt. It truly was breath taking. And an hour later after my mom had curled my hair to perfection, I looked…..well, like I'd always dreamed of looking like if I ever went to prom. **

**Except I'd never see my prom; because this was the dress I was going to die in.**


	13. Young Blood

_**A/N: hehe. You guys really don't have a very high opinion of me. lol. You think I'd kill off Suze just as she realises how much she truly loves Jesse? Even against all the odds? Wow.**_

_**Maybe I will. Or maybe I won't. Or maybe I'll do BOTH. Or not.**_

_**You'll find out soon enough! Hehe.**_

_**If you read back on the prophesies, maybe some of you'll even guess it. Or maybe you won't. lol. All I'll say is the story is NEARLY finished. So just hang in there.**_

_**Enjoy! And remember to REVIEW!!!! Please? ; )**_

**It only took one hour of being in the smoke filled room, for me to want to puke. Luckily, we had the beach nearby. Mom had originally planned for the party to be _on _the beach. But some dude from the council said it would be a fire hazard. Not that I minded all that much. This way I could get some fresh air in peace.**

**I stepped out into the cool winter breeze calmly. Well it _was_ December after all. But even in the chill of the salty air, I knew that the shiver I felt had nothing to do with the weather. I hadn't seen Jesse since that day in my bedroom, and I couldn't seem to get him out of my head. More importantly maybe, was the fact that Paul wasn't here. I hadn't seen him at all during the dance, and it was already steadily approaching 11.30am. **

**My dress whipped around my ankles as I took several clumsy steps towards the oceans clear shallow surface. I could see my reflection clearly in the glistening pool of water at my feet. My features became blurred as the wind continued to batter its surface angrily. I shivered again. **

**The party was great. Maybe not as good as if Jesse had been there, but then what would have been? Adam and Cee-Cee had clearly made some head-way in the relationship department. They had been all over each other ever since they got there. I couldn't help from smiling a little. At least someone had found their soul mate. **

**I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't pay much attention to the sound of a twig snapping on the ground behind me. I knew that there was something important about the water, with my glowing reflection staring up at me sadly. I just couldn't remember _what_……………..**

"**Susannah, are you alright?" I spun around quickly at the sound of Jesse's voice behind me. I could hear my heart drumming wildly in my chest, at the same time my stomach plummeted to the ground. He was here. He was really here. Everything was going to be all right.**

**I threw myself into his arms almost instantly. I didn't even think about what I was doing. I was just so scared. I needed him to be here with me. I felt his hesitation as he slipped his arms around my back awkwardly. But I didn't care. All that mattered was that he was here.**

**Then I felt the difference as his strong arms relaxed around me. His body seemed less tense, and his grip grew possessive. But in a good way. And even though I knew ghosts don't have body heat –how can they? They're dead- I swear I could feel the chill that was threatening to engulf me, disappear. That's the effect Jesse has on me.**

**He finally pulled away after a long moment to look down at me curiously. **

"**Susannah, what is the matter?" he asked me, stroking the corner of my mouth with his thumb. I was so momentarily brain dead from his touch, that I didn't pay much attention to his question.**

"**What?" I asked stupidly. He narrowed his eyes at me searchingly. I averted his gaze, trying desperately not to let the truth spill out of my mouth. **

"**It's nothing." I told him hesitantly. I could tell that he didn't believe me. His hands dropped to his sides as he studied me in greater detail. I felt the wind whipping my hair about my face fiercely. I was glad that the dress at least, stayed looking perfect. The wind only enhanced its already beautiful flowing skirts. Like the water below me.**

**Water.**

_**He will find you by the pool of reflection.**_

**I looked up suddenly to find that we weren't alone. Then down at the watch I'd purposely worn this morning, in light of my situation. 12.00pm. Exactly. A moment too late to stop the dagger that swung towards me striking me in the stomach. I gasped in pain as I fell to my knees. **

**I was dimly aware of Jesse beside me, stroking my hair away from my face, before turning around and hitting someone across the face. I couldn't quite remember who……………**

"**Get off me! Suze tell him to get off me!" came a startled voice from above me. I didn't reply. I couldn't have even if I'd wanted to. I could already feel the heady feeling of sleep drift through me in an undeniable surge. I was falling, further and further away. The lights dimmed…………..**

**Then all was black, as the all-too-familiar force dragged me forwards. **

**Back into the Shadowland.**

**_A/N: Okay. Please don't kill me. Things will work out. I promise! _**

_**I swear I won't make her die forever. Or will I? Ha! Ha! Ha!**_

_**I have the next chapter already written out. So it's up to you to review if you want to see it. Hehe.**_


	14. Dead Again

**The room exploded in a blinding flash of light. I watched in horror as the hundreds of doors slowly faded away. Melting into the cool tendrils of smoke that wrapped around my feet. **

_**I was dead. **_

**Everything had happened just as Madam Zara had predicated. Paul had killed me, in front of the pool of reflection, at 12.00pm. I just couldn't get my head around it. I slumped down onto the floor noting all but three doors were gone. They glowed eerily in the dim light above. **

**I was_ so_ not going easily. **

**No. If destiny wanted to kill me off on my 17th birthday, then screw them. I would just sit on the floor for the next zillion years. Or until Jesse found me anyway.**

_**Jesse. **_

**The memory struck me like a blow in my heart. I'd left him alone with Paul. What if Paul exorcised him or something? I couldn't help him anymore. No matter how much I loved him.**

"**So here we are. I'm sad to see my predictions were proven right." **

**I wasn't surprised to see Madam Zara standing above me. I was too exhausted by then. Dying really takes the spring out of your step. I guess it wasn't such a big deal though. It wasn't like anyone was actually going to worry about me feeling totally wrecked anymore. Because dead people don't get tired. **

"**Apparently so." I replied in a muffled whisper. I could feel a tear roll down my cheek, which I promptly dabbed away. I was _not _going to cry about this. I had to stay brave right? Jesse did, so, so could I. Or so the theory went.**

"**I'm so sorry child. But you really must believe me when I say this isn't the end. You still get one more choice."**

"**To die or not to die? Cause if it is, then I'm pretty sure on the one I'm gonna pick." I told her with a shaky laugh. Not that I found my situation funny. No, not at all. I think I was in hysterics. **

"**No." she replied softly. I nodded, silent once again. Even though I didn't want to admit it, I realised how much I'd pinned on her saying I did have the choice. To live or die I mean. But obviously not. All those years of building up good karma for nothing.**

"**Then what?" I asked, hearing my voice crack horribly, "heaven or hell?" **

**She looked down at me for a moment before replying. She seemed to be weighing up if I was stable enough to hear her answer. I closed my eyes in despair. Things _couldn't _get worse.**

"**No." she told me firmly. Obviously stressing that that one was already decided for me. _So_ gonna be hell. I just knew it. Wouldn't that just be my luck?**

"**You get to choose a door." she told me simply.**

**I looked at the three identical doors in front with distaste. Great.**

"**Oh joy. I always wanted to choose the door that leads to my doom." I told her sarcastically. She ignored my comment and continued as if I hadn't spoken.**

"**Each door leads down a different path."**

"**Like the yellow brick road?" I asked sweetly. Again, I was ignored.**

"**The middle door leads to your afterlife."**

"**Great." I said, eyeing the door warily. Suddenly it seemed a whole lot uglier.**

"**The door to your right leads back to the beach. Back to your present, but as a ghost for eternity."**

**I nodded, immediately knowing which door I was going to choose. Jesse was the reason I'd died. Why not go to him to spend eternity together? I mean, I knew that Father D wouldn't go for the idea so much. But he'd learn to deal. I hoped.**

"**But the door to your left is the one you must choose." She told me, snapping me out of my thoughts. **

"**What? No. I want to go back to be with Jesse. He's the one I love. He's the one I died for. I want to go and be with……….."**

"**No. It will not do. I already told you the last part of your destiny."**

"**Which was?" I asked feeling extremely pissed off. I was verging on hating her again.**

"**You would die for your life. You must go through the left door if you are to live."**

**I stared at her blankly for a moment before blinking rapidly. She certainly hadn't mentioned_ that_ one before.**

"**What?" I asked stupidly. The corner of her mouth creased up in a small smile. **

"**I told you before. Destiny is not an open book. It has many short-cuts and contradicting rules. Yours was never a straight-forward destiny. You have a fork in your road. It could tilt either way."**

"**I don't understand. If that door will bring me back to life then what's the problem?" I asked her excitedly. I couldn't believe my ears. I was going to live! I was so sure of myself that I flew to my feet and began to walk towards the door in question. **

**Madam Zara tried to stop me. Something about time travel and Jesse. But I didn't listen. Because I knew that if I stopped then she could just make me go through another door. I didn't look back once.**

**Wind whipped at my hair as I got dragged forwards again. It wasn't till I landed and took my first good look at my surroundings however that I realised that maybe I'd been rather hasty. **

**There was a dirt track beneath my feet where the road had once been. Trees littered the dusty track and I could see the distant hint of grass further ahead. Then I looked up at the proud little house above me. _My_ proud little house.**

**At least I had my death-day dress on. I had a feeling that it was going to come in very useful. **

**It felt like I was a time-warp. And not the cool kind either.**

**I'd gone back to 1850. Oops.**

_**A/N: hehe. This is going to be a hell of a lot longer than I expected.**_

_**Why did Suze go back to 1850? What was Madam Zara going on about? Why is Suze suddenly alive? Will she ever see Jesse again?**_

_**Find out all this and more next chappie.**_

**_But only if I get LOTS of reviews. Good or bad. I don't really mind._**

_**Just PLEASE review!**_

**_Thank you to all the people that reviewed my last chapter! You rock! I'm serious. If I could then I'd give you all cookies. But seeing as I can't you'll just have to make do with the virtual kind._**

**_:'hands out imaginary cookies to reviewers':_**

_**So remember 2 things:**_

_**BOWLING 4 SOUP ROCK!**_

_**And**_

_**REVIEW!**_

_**Thanks guys!**_

_**Angel**_


	15. Fallen

_**A/N: I love reviews SO much! They completely rock! Like getting a late birthday present. Well kind of. Lol. **_

_**Sorry to keep you all waiting so long. I've had tonnes of course-work and stuff. So I'm now updating the fics, in this totally screwed up order. But yeah. Hope you like the twist in the story. I didn't want Suze to die so I created another storyline that'll hopefully end with her living. I hope. Depends if I get writers block or not. Hehe**_

_**Thanx to ALL my reviewers! You rule:hands out more cookies to reviewers:**_

_**ENJOY THE UPDATE!**_

**I stared down at the patch-work quilt feeling completely dumb. Mostly because everyone was treating me like a buttercup. I suppose the fact that I looked like a nineteenth century rich kid didn't help much. The dress had done it. They all assumed that I'd been kidnapped by some outlaw and left out here for a ransom. A story that I'd encouraged as much as possible.**

**I mean, could you blame me? Here I was in the middle of another CENTURY after finding out that I'd DIED. I didn't know what the hell was going on. Most of all why I was alive again. I played with the frayed end of one of the towels I'd been given to wash with. Another thing I'd found out about this era: **

_**They have no hot water.**_

**Not to modern day standards anyway. I guess to them it was pretty good. I mean, it wasn't their fault that they were born before central heating and stuff. But a warm bath after the day I'd had would have been nice. I heard a small knock at the door, as a pretty girl with a blonde braid poked her head in. I smiled at her and gestured for her to come in.**

**She grinned down at me.**

"**Hello Kathleen." I said in a weak voice. **

**Kathleen was the exact opposite of me. With her perfectly straight blonde hair and baby blue eyes. She was also much smaller. She reminded me of an angel. A very fashion obsessed angel at that. She seemed to have this thing about getting me into as many designer dresses as possible. I watched in amazement as she dropped the ten layers of beautiful clothing on my bed. I was aware of the fact my mouth had dropped open as she began to colour co-ordinate the hundreds of dresses. They were beautiful.**

"**Okay," she muttered under her breath, "my mother has agreed to let you stay here as long as you need to. And my father has sent out every able man and boy to hunt for your captors. There is no chance they can escape."**

**I nodded without paying much attention. I was far too interested in the beautiful ocean green gown she'd pulled out of the tangle of garments. She observed me watching and smiled.**

"**You like?" she asked with amusement. Being the owners' daughter, she was very rich. And seeing my obvious distress at being at her ranch, she had declared that she would get her servants to make me a wardrobe of dresses that evening. I hadn't actually realised that she'd _meant_ it.**

"**Yes. I mean, it's beautiful." I replied softly. Touching the silky skirt in awe. It was even more beautiful than my birthday dress. She nodded before hanging it up on a peg on the front of my wardrobe.**

"**You should wear it tonight to dinner. We have many new guests arriving. You needn't worry about your appearance. These are some of the finest dress materials this side of the border. Plus it matches the under-tones in your eyes." She told me matter-of-factly.**

**I smiled at her as she went about sorting out the rest of my wardrobe in the same matter-of-fact manner.**

"**Thank you." I told her calmly. She looked up looking kind of stunned.**

"**You know," she told me happily, "that is the first time any of my parents guests have ever said that."**

**_So much for olden day manners,_ I thought absently. I couldn't help but feel a certain rush of warmth towards the petite girl as she finished off and left with a smile. She was nice at least.**

**Maybe she could help in the event of me being stuck here forever. **

**I was still thinking about it as I got ready for dinner and stood in front of the full length mirror to admire the finished effect. I was shocked at how beautiful the dress actually looked. The corset pulled in my tiny waist, and emphasised my hips. I kind of liked 19th century fashion. I glanced at the small clock on my dressing table. Ten minutes till dinner.**

"**You will see him again. It's destiny. However: whether or not you stay together is your making." I rolled my eyes as I turned and found Madam Zara standing behind me.**

"**Don't you ever get bored of doing that?" I asked her boldly. She smiled at me, her eyes roving up and down my dress critically.**

"**You won't have any problems impressing the men tonight. I have no doubt that you'll have several proposals within the next few days." **

**I gave her a stern look. Was she kidding?**

"**There's only one guy I'm interested in marrying, and he's in another realm right now. So don't hold out on being asked to be flower girl."**

**She shook her head softly. "You don't get it do you?" she asked with pity. **

"**Get what?" **

"**By telling you your destiny before it happened I changed your fate. By knowing about it, you had the power to change your direction. I was the one that allowed you know which door to travel through. I want you and Jesse to be together. But you must first prove your love."**

"**And how exactly am I supposed to do that?" I asked feeling annoyed, "he isn't even _here_."**

**She smiled again and stroked back some of my hopelessly curly hair.**

"**Isn't he?" she asked. **

**Then she went. Leaving me to trudge down the stairs in the vain hope that maybe I'd been dreaming and that Andy would be there cooking Tacos or something. No such luck.**

**The smartly dressed men and women surrounded the table, waiting primly for their first course. Since I'd been given free board here, I was to sit with them. Which presented a whole other issue. How did 19th century women eat? Which fork came first?**

**I was trying to harness some of my confusion when I noticed something else that was much more shocking than the other thing.**

**Was that _Jesse?_**


	16. Heiress of Lies

**Things not to do when you're at a 19th century dinner table:**

**1) Complement the woman sitting next to you on her pregnancy–when she is in fact un-married and has never touched a man in her life. Yeah right. **

**2) Call the gentleman sitting next to you a dude when he greets you with a flower. Not good. **

**3) Choke on an anchovy when you realise the guy that just asked your name is in fact your boyfriend in another life. And doesn't remember you.**

**Did I mention the choking on an anchovy part? I guess I did, but whatever. After seeing Jesse earlier on, I'd thought that that was what Madam Zara meant about the proving our love thing. I'd have to choose to stay with him in_ his_ life. And I thought that he was just ignoring me so that it didn't seem suspicious. Boy was I wrong. The guy had full on amnesia of ever meeting me before. Let alone getting his tongue in my mouth. **

**It was in fact so depressing that I had to retire to my room early. Which is where I had continued to sit for the rest of the evening. Why did these things keep on happening to me? **

"**Are you ok?" I looked up to find Kathleen staring down at me with concern. She obviously thought I was some kind of freak for leaving the table so early. That made two of us.**

"**Yeah. I just had a bit of a headache. I thought I'd see if I could get rid of it up here." I lied coolly. I didn't expect her to read much into that. I mean, you can't stop a headache right? They don't exactly have any miracle cure for it in this era. She'd just have to deal with the fact I wasn't going to sit and be gawked at any more.**

"**Tis a shame." She told me with a sigh. I looked at her, slightly raising one brow. Was it lady like to look confused?**

"**What?" I asked her rudely. She shot me an amazed look from across my bed, where she'd promptly flopped down.**

"**My mother would scold me if she ever heard me using such language." She whispered in astonishment. I immediately felt my cheeks heat up. I really should learn to think before I speak.**

"**Um, I meant I beg your pardon? My father owns a ranch in Oregon. I don't see him that much so I tend to pick up the local lingo." I informed her quickly. I was digging my own grave though. I'd told her too much already. **

"**Oh, your father lives in Oregon? I shall tell my mother and she will send out a messenger for him to collect you." She said brightly. I opened and closed my mouth a few times in shock. God, she was too sharp for her own good.**

"**Um, yeah about that. My dad won't be there at the moment. He's away on business in England. Very important business. He won't be back for at least five weeks." **

**Fast thinking. She looked slightly sceptical, but accepted the story all the same. She turned to face me with a troubled expression on her face.**

"**You mean your father?" she asked, sounding confused.**

"**Um, yes. Didn't I just say that?" I replied. She shook her head so that her blonde ringlets swayed.**

"**No. You said he was your 'dad'. I have never heard any 'cept peasants use that word."**

**I could see the suspicion in her eyes. I could feel panic bubble up inside me. If I couldn't convince her I was of noble birth then her family would no doubt chuck me out faster than you could say 'Time Warp'. Then what would I do? I knew nobody here. Let alone how to act. Hadn't I just proven that to myself?**

"**Like I said before. My father is often away. I tend to pick up the lingo from our servants."**

**Okay so I was making up a huge lie. As long as I could keep it up I'd be fine. I hoped.**

"**Oh. Well that is fine then. I was worried for a moment there. I almost considered you a rogue!" she exclaimed in relief. I smiled at her softly, well aware that the smile was strained.**

"**What was it that you were going to tell me?" she looked at me in confusion, obviously having forgotten all about it.**

"**You told me that it was a shame I'd left so early." I explained hurriedly. Her eyes brightened as she sat up and took my hands in her own.**

"**Oh isn't he wonderful! I couldn't have pictured a perfect match for you myself!" she told me happily. Thinking she meant Jesse I blushed slightly. **

"**Well, I agree he's nice. I barely know him though. I wouldn't want to……."**

"**Nonsense!" she told me in excitement, "What is there to know? Charles simply adored you. And I am not the only woman around here that would consider him an extremely good catch."**

**I felt my eyes bugging out as I pulled my hands back slightly. What the hell was she going on about? Some of it must have shown on my face as she exasperated: **

"**The gentleman that presented you with the rose at the beginning of the meal. He seems quite taken with you. He even inquired as to your age." She chirped away happily. I however was beyond confused.**

"**What has his asking about my age got to do with him liking me?" I asked. She stared at me like I was an idiot for a moment.**

"**He wanted to know if you were of legal age to wed silly." She told me as if I were a moron. **

**I felt as if the floor dropped from beneath me. I stared blankly at her happy face as I tried to process some of what she had just said.**

"**But he's only just met me. Why would he want to know something like that? He might not even like me."**

"**What's not to like?" she told me firmly, "you're intelligent, mysterious, interesting and very bonnie. Why on earth wouldn't he show an interest in you?"**

"**Because he doesn't even _know_ me. And what do you mean I'm mysterious?" I asked feeling worried. Was it really that obvious that I didn't belong here? At least I knew what 'bonnie' meant. I'd read the description of Maria De Silva next to the picture Doc had got for me. 'Bonnie' was 19th century slang for beautiful. Well I could argue that one out later.**

"**I mean that you aren't from around these parts. It is obvious to every one that meets you. You are very unconventional in your manner. Many would dismiss it as rudeness. But to us at the ranch it is plain to see that you are truly trying to fit in with our ways. That is always good to see. A lady that has the ability to adjust. It is very rare in the higher class."**

**I was in shock. At least my bad manners weren't being watched too closely. They all just thought I was some spoilt rich kid that had been left to become an impolite little brat. Great. I should fit in perfect with them.**

"**Yes, well I think I'm going to sleep for a while now. The headache you know." I told her stiffly. She smiled at me warmly before standing up and brushing herself down primly. I smiled in return.**

"**I hope you feel better upon the 'morrow. We shall leave at two, so be sure you are ready in plenty of time."**

"**Why? What's happening tomorrow?" I asked dazedly. She turned and smiled as she backed out of the door.**

"**Charles and Hector are joining us for a stroll in Beach-Wood forest. Be sure to wear your best bonnet. Charles will be looking out for you." and with that she left.**

**It wasn't till about five minutes later when I was slipping under my duvet that I realised what she had said. _Hector_ was coming.**

**Oh great. So now I have a boyfriend that doesn't remember me and a future fiancé. Just what I always wanted. Not.**

**_A/N: A HUGE thank you to all my reviewers! I love you all! _**

**_The cool thing is that if i get another review i'll reach my first ever hundred! Out of all my fics. hehe. That'd be very cool!_**

_**I hope you enjoyed this chappy! Now all you have to do is push the little blue button at the bottom of the screen. Pretty please?**_

**_Invisible smurfs up for grabs again for any reviewers. hehe. Gotta love the little blue men!_**


	17. Mistaken Identity

**I paced around the pretty little corridor impatiently. So much for Kathleen telling me not to be late. I think she successfully managed that one by herself thank you very much. Seriously though, how much time do you need to get a sixteen year old girl ready? I mean, considering that _Meybelline _hasn't even been invented yet. I strolled up to the door and knocked again impatiently. **

"**_Just coming!"_ Kathleen screeched from inside. That would have been comforting if she hadn't said exactly the same thing fifteen minutes ago. I was considering mentioning that to her when the door flung open. Now I understood why she'd needed the extra time.**

**She had a nasty poison oak reaction all over her hands. Big red blotches covered them like burn marks. She looked at me mournfully. **

"**Oh I'm so incredibly sorry Susie." She told me sadly. I was about to correct her, that my name is Suze not Susie when I noticed my own hands. Not again.**

"**How did I touch poison oak? I never go near the stuff." I shrieked in horror. **

"**I'm afraid 'tis my doing. You see last night when I took your hands as I was telling you about Charles. Well, I never noticed what that my skin may have come into contact with the wretched plant. If I had I surely would have stayed away from you. Considering your position with the engagement."**

"**There won't be any engagement." I muttered under my breath. **

"**Oh don't be so silly Susie. This is your chance to 'get to know each other' as you put it. As is the same with me and Hector." She told me sorrowfully, looking down at her own ravished hands.**

**Oh great, so first this girl gives me a hideous, skin deforming allergic reaction. Then_ she_ goes about stealing _my_ boyfriend. Jeez. How much can I kill her in one day? I guess it isn't really her fault and all. I mean, how can she know all this stuff? Except from the poison oak thing. That one would take longer to forgive. And the Jesse thing sounded like a crush if I ever heard one. I took deep cleansing breaths, trying to restrain from tearing out her hair.**

"**It's Suze." I told her unemotionally. She turned her pretty blue gaze up into my own. She was like the only person I'd ever met that was shorter than me. It felt kind of weird.**

"**What is Suze?" she asked looking visibly confused. Obviously she thought it was another of the nasty slang words I'd learnt from my 'servants'.**

"**It's my name. You called me Suzie. My name's Suze. If you shorten it that is." I informed her testily. **

**She wrinkled up her dainty little nose in distaste, obviously not liking the new word at all. I was seriously considering telling her the truth just to shock her. That's how annoyed I was. But then I remembered Jesse, who I couldn't just leave. Especially if she intended to get her claws into him. **

"**No." she told me firmly, "that will not do at all. I shall call you Susannah, if Susie aggrieves you so much." **

**I rolled my eyes at her, feeling totally out of depth with this girls' power to get under my skin. We'd barely said hello and I was already planning her murder. I remembered what my mums' psychiatrist back in New York told me. _Deep breaths and you'll be fine Suze. Just count to ten………………_**

"**Fine." I told her shortly, having had enough of her lady-like-ness already.**

**I took the gloves she passed to me without much thought. They were the long ones that everyone seemed to wear. Mine were a creamy white colour to go with my dress. Hers were ruby red. I rolled my eyes again. It was probably the most daring thing she'd ever done.**

**We hurried down the narrow staircase as fast as we could. It was no joke let me tell you. All those old films where the women just bounded down the stairs to meet her husband or whatever were completely off mark. It was like an Olympic sport. Even Kathleen seemed to find it hard to step at such a fast speed. **

**She was panting by the time we reached the bottom. That obviously being the only form of exercise that she'd ever done in her life. I almost felt a tad sympathetic. It must be horrible growing up thinking you're a figurine doll, that's only purpose is to marry and squeeze out a load of kids. Boy kids that is. Families didn't actually want girls most of the time.**

"**Here they are Mr Turner." Said a petite servant with a tight black bun. She was dressed just like any olden day servant would be expected to. It instantly reminded me of the flower girl out of _Oliver. _She rushed up to meet us as we brushed down our skirts. A habit I'd picked up almost instantly from Kathleen. She seemed to do it every five seconds.**

"**Come along now girls. The men have hectic schedules' to attend to on their return." She fussed primly. I instantly realised that I wasn't going to like her.**

"**Come Susannah, my mother will be most excited to talk to you." Kathleen told me excitedly, taking one of my poison-oak-y hands and pulling me forwards.**

**Not even the realisation of what I was going to see prepared me for the shock of seeing _him _again._ Jesse._ He looked almost exactly like when I had last seen him. Except the glow that usually surrounded him was gone, making his skin look much darker than before. You could see that he worked on a ranch. I opened and closed my mouth a few times stupidly before I realised that Kathleen was already introducing us. **

"……………**..and this is Susannah from Oregon. She is staying with us until her father returns from England."**

"**And what is it your Father does?" Mrs Turner asked me politely. I knew her instantly as Kathleen's mom. She had the same crystal blue eyes that were such an important part of Kathleen herself.**

"**He owns a ranch in Oregon." I told her as calmly as I could. Considering the circumstances that wasn't very much. Especially as I noticed my own fatal mistake. Jesse's dad owned a ranch. **

**Sure enough his brow went up inquisitively. I sighed inwardly. Just like old times. Him telling me I'm wrong and me hopelessly trying to convince him I'm not. Plus the whole lying factor. Should be a piece of cake. **

"**Where about is this ranch? I've never heard of such a thing in Oregon." He told me. Was it my imagination or was he mocking me? God I hate it when he does that. He knows I'm lying and he's playing with me. Great. Thanks a lot Jesse.**

"**Then you must be mistaken." I told him in my hardest-most-no-nonsense voice. It only proceeded to make his other brow shoot up as well. He obviously had never encountered someone as 'bold' as me. I'm sure he was used to girls just dropping down at his feet. As most guys in this time obviously were. **

"**I'm almost certain I'm not. My father also owns a ranch on the borders of California. He would know if there was a land owner in Oregon, and warn them." he told me, sounding slightly amused.**

"**And why would that be?" I asked, feeling bored of the conversation already. This could go on forever. He knew I was lying. Why didn't he just come out and say it?**

"**Because there is a rogue for every inch of that county. It is the haven of thieves and murderers." He informed me, like I was an idiot for not thinking about that little formality when I made the whole thing up. He obviously thought I was stupid for not realising that someone may know that no-one worked the land in Oregon. Luckily for me I was a fast thinker as well.**

"**My father taught me to take care of myself. No rogue would dare come within a kilometre of my ranch. I would have him begging for release before he even lays a hand on me."**

**I heard the women gasp right on queue. Obviously rogues were one thing little figurines -such as myself- don't handle. Jesse however smiled. He must have heard the message in what I was saying. _Keep the hell away from me and you won't get hurt._ The problem was he didn't seem to be taking the threat too seriously. I sighed as I looked at the shocked expression on Kathleen's pretty face.**

"**You cannot be serious. You truly beat rogues to the pulp?" she asked in astonishment. **

"**Many times." I told her, deliberately avoiding Jesse's gaze. I'd only met him this morning and I'd already screwed up my chances at getting to know the guy again. **

"**As much as I find Susannah's ability to kill men with her bare hands fascinating, I also wish to witness the beauty of the forest before night fall. So can we please leave now?" Mr Turner asked, obviously having no interest in my past exploits. **

**I was surprised when Jesse instead of walking off and ignoring me like I'd expected, held out his hand. I took it feeling confused. So, apparently was Charles, who'd obviously planned to be taking me on this outing himself. On Kathleen's instruction of course. He got over his loss quickly however by offering his hand to Kathleen instead. I was also relieved that Kathleen had insisted on both of us wearing gloves. I would have hated to have monster hands now. I smiled. Maybe things would work out.**

**That is until Jesse bent down and whispered in my ear. **

"**We really need to talk Miss Susannah." **

**And proceeded to lead me in a totally different direction to the others. Not that they noticed. I looked up at him guiltily as he abruptly stopped in front of the barn house.**

**When I saw his dark eyes however, they weren't angry. Instead he looked kind of half amused. Like he knew he should be serious but couldn't help finding the situation funny. I however was not laughing.**

"**Now," He told me with small smile, "tell me the truth. And this time, please leave out the fairytales."**

**I felt my stomach drop as I realised something else. He was probably here to marry Maria. Which gave me one week to make him remember that he loves me.**

**Again.**

**_A/N: heya! WOW. Thank you SO much for getting me over one hundred reviews. YAY!_**

_**:does weird little dance: **_

**_I hope you guys are taking good care of your invisible smurfs. They can be quite a handful sometimes. _**

_**But…um, yeah. Just to answer some questions: **_

**_Sweet Shortey- Yes, 'Bonnie' is a real word and it does mean beautiful. They used it back in the 19th century and stuff. I have a feeling that I spelt it incorrectly though. If I have then I'm sorry. Lol_**

**_Sweet Shortey- Kathleen is the same age as Suze. Sixteen. I mentioned it in this chappy, so thanks for reminding me! I would have forgotten to say otherwise. You will gradually learn more about her as the story carries on. But thanks for reminding me about that one!_**

**_Booksrule39- LOL. I seriously doubt that Charles will turn out to be a reincarnated version of Paul. I have special plans for both of the men in question. You will just have to wait and see what they are though. Sorry about making your head hurt!_**

_**All these things are my answers for now though. I have a habit of rapidly changing my mind. Lol. So the best thing you can do is keep reading to find out. Lol. Advertising enough yet?**_

_**Please review! Today's special give-away is: Invisible Banana Dudes that Dance the Macarena. How can you resist? Those little banana dudes are just too darn cute!**_

_**All you have to do is push the little blue button at the bottom…………..**_


	18. Heaven or Hell

**The barn was cold. Even in the many layers of clothes I had on beneath my tight dress I could feel the chill. Need I mention the fact that corsets _hurt._ If I'd known they'd feel like this then I'd have insisted on not wearing one. But then that wouldn't be proper. Stupid rules. **

"**Jesse, there really isn't much I can tell you. Not that you'd believe anyway." I said impatiently.**

**We'd been at this for at least an hour. The others hadn't clicked on about us not coming on the walk. They hadn't even arrived back yet.**

"**How do you know I won't believe you if you don't tell me?" he asked running a hand through his dark hair. Which would -under normal circumstances- be his cue to kiss me. But I wasn't holding my breath. He seemed plenty annoyed that I wouldn't tell him I was lying. Plus the whole him not knowing me thing. I guess that got in the way a bit as well.**

"**Um, I think I'll take the risk." I told him. **

"**So you admit you were lying?" he insisted.**

"**No. Nothing like that. I just modified the truth slightly." I replied hastily.**

"**That means you lied." He explained.**

"**No. No it doesn't. Stop twisting everything I say." **

"**You said it _Querida_."**

**And that's when everything stopped. Had he just called me what I thought he'd called me? Because the deep state of shock I was in from hearing it may have been clouding my judgment. Which of course made no sense. But then again_ nothing_ makes sense out here.**

"**Susannah, are you sure you are alright?" he asked with concern. I smiled at him to hide some of my discomfort at the situation.**

"**If you stop questioning everything I say then I'll be fine." I told him calmly. He grinned. This of course wouldn't be proper if he was with any other young lady of his acquaintance. But for me he seemed to make an exception.**

"**I don't think so_ Querida_." he said in amusement. I rolled my eyes. Okay, so maybe not the most lady-like thing to do. But whatever. He wasn't trying to be a gentleman so why _should_ I care. **

"**Because if you don't I'll just tell Kathleen you've been bothering me. She'll have her parents chuck you out in no time." I informed him confidently. **

**I wasn't trying to be threatening. I really wasn't. But I also had to stop him blabbing about the fact I lied to everyone every five seconds. I couldn't risk having no where to stay. And I sure as hell couldn't risk leaving him. For a moment I let myself remember how much I loved him. I had deliberately locked that feeling away since the moment I arrived in this place. But now I felt the feeling come back in full force. I felt my insides tear at the knowledge I couldn't have him. Especially when he was looking at me like he was now. Like he was trying to figure out _why_ I wasn't like Kathleen. Or Maria.**

"**Who are you?" he asked abruptly. Just like a century before when he asked me exactly the same question in my bedroom. Back when we first met. It was still just as important to him now as it was then. The difference being that I couldn't tell him the truth this time.**

**I tried desperately to hold in the wetness that was threatening to escape from my eyes. I knew that I was killing something. Not literally, but still. How could I ever make him fall in love with me in a week when all I could do was lie?**

"**I have to go." I said brokenly before turning to leave. Jesse caught my arm, but dropped it almost instantly as if it had begun to blister beneath his skin. **

"**Why can't you just answer the question?" he asked in confusion. **

**I could tell he was desperately trying to figure me out. I could feel him trying to search my eyes, but I refused to look up. I couldn't risk it.**

"**Look, just drop it will you?" I said, hearing the hysterical edge to my own voice. I had been so sure of myself earlier. And now look at me. Jesse had managed to throw me off balance with ten minutes of lousy questions. Okay, an hours worth, but the point is I shouldn't have acted so affected by it.**

"**No. I will not just 'drop it' as you put it. I know you are scared, but you can trust me." he told me softly. I was almost convinced. For a split second it was like the old Jesse again. Back when I first moved to Carmel. But it wasn't. I had to remember that.**

"**No I can't Jesse. Don't you get it? I can't. Because if I do then I'm dead. So kindly stop interrogating me." **

**He looked at me strangely then. And I admit, for a split second I thought that he'd suddenly remembered me. I was just about to say something when he cut me off.**

"**How did you know that?" he asked, confusedly. I stared at him.**

"**What?" **

"**You could me Jesse. No-one calls me that save a few close friends and family."**

"**Kathleen told me." I replied nervously. He shook his head in wonder.**

"**No she didn't. Everyone at this ranch calls me by my birth name." he said, reaching out and stroking back some of my hair. Society's rules obviously forgotten.**

**He looked down at me and a strange look passed over his face. Confusion and something stronger. I couldn't quite figure out what it was though. He reached out and to my surprise laid his other hand on my arm. And I was instantly lost. The way he looking at me, like he……I don't know. And I'll never know. Because at that exact moment Kathleen walked into the barn looking visibly annoyed. We sprang apart. **

"**Where on earth have you been? You gave us such a fright! We thought you had been abducted again!" she screeched. **

**Then noticing Jesse's presence she promptly shut up. Seriously, it was like Kelly Prescott reincarnated. Her hand immediately went to her braided hair. And I swear she pouted. I swear it. It was actually kind of pathetic. Considering the fact he was engaged to his cousin. **

**That was the only excuse I could give for my suddenly foul mood. I barged right past her catching her hand as I went and dragging her away. Only stopping for a split second to turn to an astonished looking Jesse to say:**

"**Good day to you Mr De Silva." **

**This was also a thing I couldn't have guessed just from Kathleen's introductions. But I decided to take advantage of my knowledge. **

**Maybe he'd figure it all out on his own.**

_**A/N: hey people! Aw! You guys so rock! **_

**_I'm trying to take the whole 19th century thing slow. Sorry if it's boring. But I'm not just gonna make everything happen straight away. I wanna make it kind of believable. Lol._**

_**But thanx for all the support guys!**_

**_Remember: Review and I will forever worship you! _**

_**Plus the more people review the sooner I can update! (I already have the next 2 chapters written out).**_

_**So yeah……look after your invisible smurfs and banana men!**_


	19. Over & Over

**I was trying my best to sit straight in the uncomfortable wooden seat. Unfortunately it was much harder than it looked. First of all, it made it almost impossible to reach the stuff on the table in front of me. Then there was the little fact that Jesse was sitting next to me. Yes, you read that right. Jesse –whom I love- was going to be eating beside me. Watching me make a total idiot out of myself, no doubt. That's the only reason I could think of. I mean, he wasn't _supposed _to sit beside me. Kathleen had made that point very clear. Oh well, I guess this way I have someone to copy on the whole eating-like-a-lady-front. Not that Jesse's a lady. But he'd still have to eat politely right?**

"**First of all I would like to make a toast…….to Miss Kathleen Turner, who today turns seventeen. We would like to ask you all to raise your glasses to such a………" Mr Turner began cheerfully. But I didn't hear the rest, mostly because at that exact moment Jesse leant over and whispered in my ear:**

"**Are you still angry with me?" **

**I looked from him to Mr Turner. Then back again. Carefully raising both eyebrows I cocked my head in Mr Turners' direction. Jesse just rolled his eyes. Which of course made me laugh. A couple of people looked at me like I was a freak, but I chose to ignore them.**

"**No. Who said I was mad at you in the first place?" I whispered back. I watched as he smiled, making my insides melt.**

"**Why, your good friend Kathleen. She told me to leave you alone because you were upset with me." he replied under his breath. I blinked at him dumbly. Before turning to look at Kathleen, sitting primly in the corner as her father sang her praises. Not literally of course. That would have just been weird. I was_ so_ going to kill her later.**

**I hastily raised my glass along with everyone else. Trying my best not to scowl at her. I'd never met someone with such an amazing power to make me like them one minute and hate them the next.**

"**I never said that." I told him, as we lowered our drinks. He nodded slightly.**

"**I guessed as much. You seem like the sort of person that would tell someone if you didn't like them."**

"**You have no idea." I muttered, while still letting my gaze shoot daggers at little miss prissy herself. I could feel his gaze on me, so I promptly stopped and instead rolled my gaze over him. He was wearing the usual open necked top and tight black trousers. Except his shirt was more dressy than the one he'd been wearing for the next century. It had slight gold embroidery around the sleeves. He looked as hot as ever unfortunately. It took all my will power to tear my gaze away from where they'd come to rest at the opening of his shirt. I forced myself to look into his dark eyes.**

"**What?" I asked, feeling uneasy under his unwavering stare.**

"**Nothing. You just don't sound much like a ranchers' daughter." he told me calmly. It sounded more like a question than a statement to be truthful. I didn't know what he expected to get out of me. I was too good at this game to get caught off guard. But I admit that I was fed up. Big time.**

"**Thanks. I think." I said sarcastically. He smiled.**

"**I didn't mean to offend you." he told me sincerely. No doubt worrying that my daddy would go complaining to his daddy. Except that wasn't Jesse's style was it? He genuinely must feel bad about continually insulting me.**

**I snorted. **

"**Don't sweat it. I'm sure I'll get over it." I smiled. He smiled in return, which I took as a good sign. I mean, at least he didn't hate me. **

"**I was meaning to ask you something the other day. But you rushed off too quickly for me to get a chance." He grinned at the memory.**

"**Shoot." I said. He looked confused. I decided to elaborate. Considering he'd been born a century before the phrase was used and all.**

"**Shoot what?" he asked. I laughed. Luckily everyone else on the table was talking as well. Otherwise it would have seemed to be a very strange conversation.**

"**No. It's an expression……..where I come from." I explained. **

"**Which is?" **

"**Never you mind." I told him rudely. At least I wasn't still dribbling on about Oregon and a non-existent ranch. Owned by a made-up father. **

**He smiled again.**

"**You can't blame me for wanting to find out." He said. I gave him a look of steel.**

"**Yes I can." I replied stubbornly. **

"**I'll just have to ask Mr Turner." He threatened. **

"**You go do that." **

"**Maybe I will." **

"**Maybe you should." I shot back.**

"**Fine." He said.**

"**Fine." I replied.**

**He shook his head in annoyance. **

"**You are one of the stubbornness women I've ever met." He told me, shaking his head.**

"**Then obviously you haven't met many interesting people." I replied calmly, taking that opportunity to stand up along with a few other people.**

"**Retiring so early Miss Susannah?" Mrs Turner asked curiously. **

"**Yes. I seem to be suffering from the most terrible of headaches since I've arrived here. I find it better to go to bed early." **

**I was quite aware of the fact that Jesse was watching the scene with a very amused expression on his face. I chose to ignore it.**

"**Okay dear. Be sure to rest. You have a long day tomorrow. Kathleen will be joining you in horse riding classes." **

**I froze_. Horse riding?_**

"**Seeing as you already have experience from your Fathers ranch we decided you would do fine." she continued happily.**

**I was quite aware that everyone's eyes were on me, so I nodded. Deciding to worry about it later.**

"**Will do." I said uneasily. I hurried out of the room as fast as my legs would carry me. **

**I was on the landing to my bedroom when something brushed my arm. I turned and found Jesse looking down at me with concern.**

"**You may not want to admit it, but you are no ranchers' daughter." he insisted as I tried to walk around him. He caught my arm, and this time didn't let go.**

"**Okay, yes Jesse. You're brilliant. What are you going to do about it?" I hissed dangerously. He just shook his head a little. **

"**I'm going to help you." he replied. I folded my arms across my chest and leant against the wall casually. Not quite as effective in a dress, but whatever.**

"**And how do you intend to do that Mr De Silva?" I asked sarcastically. He frowned.**

"**They'll let you off tomorrow if you insist that you are too ill to ride. But if you try to get out of it more than once the family will get suspicious. All ranchers' daughters know at least the basics of riding. They won't accept that you don't know how."**

**I wasn't about to mention that that was exactly what I was going to use as my excuse. I didn't need to anyway. Jesse had guessed.**

"**So I'm effectively dead meat. I'll find a way around it." I said flatly.**

"**No you won't. I'm going to give you one. I'm going to teach you how to ride." He breathed unemotionally. I blinked. Once. Twice. Was he serious?**

"**But why?" I asked in amazement. He was already backing away back towards the stairs however.**

"**I like you Miss Susannah."**

**I was so shocked by that little confession that I couldn't even think of a way to reply to it. Jesse seemed to take advantage of my moment of shocked silence.**

"**I will meet you by the stables at midnight. Please try to not be late."**

**And then he was gone. And I was left to try and figure out what to do next.**

_**A/N: heya! Once again: thank you SO much to all my reviewers! You're the reason I keep updating this fic instead of the others. Lol.**_

_**Horse riding lessons……at midnight………should be interesting huh? And Madam Zara will be re-appearing soon. **_

_**As for what happens between Suze and Jesse, you'll just have to keep reading to find out!**_

_**Now: please press the little blue button and REVIEW!**_

_**P.S. As I know certain people are collecting them (cough:unangelichalo:cough) the next If-You-Review-You'll-Get is:**_

_**An invisible: Psychic Snowball. I caught a load while it was snowing up here today! **_

_**Look after your Smurfs and Dancing Banana Men!**_

_**Booksrule39 - Your Smurf is suffering from a bad case of muffin withdrawal. Give him a load of Blue-Berry muffins and he'll stop banging his head. Hehe.**_


	20. Treasured Desire

**I shivered as a fresh gust of wind whipped my hair around my face. I had been waiting out by the stables for at least five minutes and I already felt as if I were frozen into my ever-so-very-tight corset. Plus I had a bodes. A freakin' bodes. I mean I know that they don't exactly have boob-tubes and stuff in this century, but you would have thought they would have invented something more practical for girls to wear. I felt sorry for any 19th century mediators out there. It was impossible to move in these things without breaking a sweat. Let alone break and enter before someone comes home.**

**I didn't even know why I'd come. I mean, it's not like I couldn't have talked my way out of not knowing how to ride. I'd talked my way out of much worse in the past. Well, technically in the future.**

**But Jesse had said that he _likes me. _Isn't that worth something? I mean, considering the way I'd been treating him and all. Not that I had a choice. I mean, if I let him think he was right then he might report me. He wasn't going to necessarily understand like he does in the future. He hasn't had the time to see the world adjust. Plus if I told him the truth then he'd probably think I was insane. Or worse: an attention seeker like Kathleen. **

"**You came." **

**I almost jumped out of my skin I was so surprised. I turned to face Jesse feeling my face heat up, even though it was like minus eighty. Not literally. But it_ was_ pretty cold. **

"**Apparently so." I replied shortly. He looked amused at my annoyance with the freezing temperatures. **

"**Are you ready?" he asked trying to hide his laughter. I looked at him sternly, finding nothing funny about the idea of freezing to death in a corset. Something about it didn't appeal to me all that much. Guess it's the 21st century hormones.**

"**Of course I am. It's always been my dream to learn how to ride a horse in a hoop skirt at midnight, for fear of dying." I told him sarcastically. He raised one ink black brow.**

"**You have a very strange sense of humour." He informed me dryly. I froze –quite literally- in shock.**

"**That hurt. You know that?" repeating what he'd said when I insulted him a century before. Not that this Jesse knew that. He just rolled his eyes and started pulling me towards the square fenced area of grass. Like what you see in one of those old western movies. Except this was real. Well, as real as going back in time _could_ be.**

"**Um, Jesse no offence or anything. But don't you need a _horse_ to teach _horse riding?" _I asked him feeling like being annoying. What can I say? No-one accuses me of having a strange sense of humour and gets away with it. Not even the alternate form of the love of my life.**

"**No Susannah. First I must be sure that you are fit to ride. Then I will teach you the names of the various objects used when riding a horse. As well as how to brush one down. So you're prepared for any questions." **

**I smiled at him. It really was pretty sweet that he was prepared to do this for me. When he didn't even know me that well and all. Except for the whole almost-dating me thing. But I guess he didn't know that one either really. I really should get around to telling him this some time. Preferably after he breaks off his engagement to The Super Bitch. Formally known as Maria De Silva. But whatever. **

**He reached out to take my hands and I pulled back slightly. And not even because 19th century ladies wouldn't just let him take their hands. **

"**Susannah, I must check that you will be safe riding." He told me looking just as surprised as me by my reaction. I took off my gloves feeling totally stupid for my behaviour. I didn't even know why I'd pulled away. I mean, there was the whole me-wanting-to-jump-him thing. But he'd touched me before and I'd managed to restrain myself hadn't I? **

**I was startled back into reality when Jesse gasped. I looked down at my hands, noticing the very un-attractive poison oak-y effect. The moonlight played on it making it look ten times worse. He turned his attention back up to my face as I looked mournfully down at my ravished hand.**

"**What happened _Querida_?"he asked as his fingers skimmed my hand as soft as a feather. I was surprised at the sheer gentleness of his touch.**

"**Poison oak. Kathleen gave it to me. Just my luck really, having it twice in one year." I told him. I instantly noticed my mistake. I hoped that he wouldn't ask me what I used on it. I mean, I couldn't exactly tell him prescription medication could I? **

"**I will get you some gunpowder for that later. It shouldn't affect your riding tomorrow."**

"**Tonight." I corrected him automatically.**

"**I think that we should begin with the theory. Then move onto the actually practical tomorrow." he said, disregarding my last comment.**

"**What? You mean I'm not learning that now?" I asked confusedly. Hadn't that been the whole point of tonight?**

"**No, you aren't learning that tonight. You will just have to pretend that you are too ill to leave your bed when they ask this once." He told me matter-of-factly.**

"**Whatever you say Yoda." I replied. He threw me a half amused, half confused glance as he went about sorting some horse stuff into piles.**

"**You should be fine at lying. You seem relatively accustomed to it." He grinned as he held up a piece of leather. **

"**This is the rein." He told me as if I was an idiot. I ignored his comment and stepped forward menacingly.**

"**Are you calling me a liar?" I asked, with our noses about an inch apart. He raised one dark brow in amusement.**

"**No, I'm not sure what you are. But I do know that whatever it is, you are afraid of something. And then of course I do not understand why you will not just ask for help."**

**I studied him closely for a moment in the silver glow the moon had cast over his face. I noticed his scar wasn't glowing like usual. It was a creamy colour set against his tanned skin. If he reached out now he could easily cup my face with his hand. **

"**I don't need anyone's help. I'm fine on my own." I replied shakily.**

**I noted how unsettled he looked as well. His eyes darted inexplicably toward my lips. And it was all I could do to not melt on the spot. His dark eyes reflected the light like the night sky above. **

"**Why won't you just let me help you? I want to help." He whispered gruffly. **

**As he said it, he lifted a hand and pushed back some of my loose hair. I didn't dare breath. Everything was so real. Jesse. This world. Us.**

**He ran his hand along my cheek softly, as soft as he had handled my hands. I shivered inwardly. I could feel the fire burning deep inside me ignite as he closed the distance between us, and brushed his lips against mine. **

**He pulled away almost instantly, to look at me; shock naked on his face. But he couldn't seem to stop himself. And the next thing I knew, I was in his arms. He pulled me tightly against him, and I let my arms snake around his neck. **

**Only one thing ruined what should have been the perfect moment. **

**The un-expected arrival of Maria. His future bride.**

**_A/N: OMG. I'm as shocked I wrote that as you probably are. Seriously. I wasn't planning for them to get it together for AT LEAST another two chappys. But I'm a firm believer in letting my hand do the typing. And obviously my hand wanted them to kiss then. LOL._**

_**Um……wow. **_

_**Sorry though. The whole me-not-planning-it thing probably makes it suck. If it does then I apologise.**_

_**But even if you hated it PLEASE REVIEW! **_

_**Up for grabs if you review: The Mystical Crab of Never-land**_

_**Hope it wasn't as bad as I think it is!**_

_**Thanx to all the people that reviewed so far!**_


	21. Evil Returns

**Okay, so let me get one thing perfectly clear: why the hell is history getting screwed up? I'm serious. Because I always thought it was that Diego dude that killed Jesse. In fact I'm sure of it. But then what the hell is Maria doing here? I'd been pacing around thinking about it ever since she'd unexpectedly walked in on us. Luckily she was too focussed on the fact that there was smelly hay in the barn to notice us. She was so busy screeching about how much it stunk, that it gave us enough time to pull apart. Which was a good thing. **

**_What the hell am I on? _Of course it isn't a good thing. The guy I love was like two seconds –or okay minutes- away from admitting the depth of his undeniable passion for me. Then his pouty little fiancé –who by the way has him murdered- comes in and ruins it!**

**The whole going without caffeine thing was seriously affecting my brain. All I knew was that Maria was going down. And painfully. Maybe I could break her nails and make her hair go frizzy. That ought to kill her.**

**But then Jesse would think I was some freaky home-wrecker. Which would also result in my losing him. I mean, it's not like I can explain my reasons for hating her. As far as he's concerned she's the innocent little bride that has been unfairly cheated on. He'll probably avoid me like the plague now.**

"**You called." **

**I spun around and found the familiar old woman standing by the side of my bed. Which was kind of ironic seeing as that's what ghost Jesse used to do. See what I mean? I can't not be with Jesse. Otherwise I start comparing everyone else's actions to him. God I'm sad.**

**I took a seat on the edge of my bed and stared at her in amazement. She has the most amazing habit of always turning up when you need her. Like Jesse. **

_**Shut up brain!**_

"**I don't know what to do." I admitted feebly. Hey, give me a break! I'd been through a lot in the past 24 hours. I had an excuse to sound feeble.**

"**Well that's because you're trying. Act like you would back in Carmel. After all, that is the Susannah that he fell in love with was it not?" she replied with a small smile.**

**I however was not convinced. This Jesse had a whole life in front of him –or so he thinks. So what would he want with a lying freak like me? **

"**But now Maria's here. She isn't going to be very happy when I start trying to steal her boyfriend." I commented partly to Madam Zara and partly to myself. Mostly to myself though. **

"**Maria is an obstacle. She always was even in your other life." **

**I looked at her in confusion. Since when had Maria been an obstacle? An annoying and winy little murderer who liked to takes swipes at me with a dagger maybe. But an obstacle? I couldn't see where Madam Zara got that one.**

"**It was the only thing about his life that he could not be truthful about. And when one part of you remains locked away, love cannot blossom. You must be able to share your past and thoughts freely. After all, what is love save two people knowing and trusting each other completely?" she elaborated. **

**Although I continued to stare at her, it was no longer out of confusion. I knew what I had to do. And it was not going to be pretty. I had to tell Jesse the truth. **

**Madam Zara smiled.**

"**Yes my dear. I believe you have made a wise choice." She told me happily. **

**Then she disappeared. I watched as the thick cloud of red smoke faded. At least now I have a plan, I thought abstractly.**

**I continued to think about that the next morning as I rushed down the stairs to watch the cowboy tournaments. It turns out _that's _why the place Jesse took me too looked so much like a _Wild Wild West _re-run. It kind of was. And it was actually pretty fun for a while. **

**Most of the guys were only my age, some a little older. Me and Kathleen –whom I'd decided to, forgive in light of the whole Maria coming back thing- actually had a lot of fun, laughing as each man failed to loop the horse. **

**It was a lot more entertaining than any _Discovery Channel _re-run. Which I had been forced to watch practically every night since Dopey realised Doc's favourite channel actually contains a lot of sex. I guess he gets turned on by smelly animals re-producing. But yeah, the point is that this was much funnier. **

**I hadn't even seen Jesse or Maria today, although Kathleen had told me that she'd heard them having a blazing row this morning. Which of course was positively scandalised to her. And fantastic news for me.**

**I was so caught in my thoughts, that I didn't even pay attention the first time that Kathleen nudged me. It was only when she pinched my arm that I realised she was trying to introduce me to someone. And from the boastful glow in her eyes, I was guessing whoever it was is male.**

**And how right I was.**

"**Susie, meet our new guest at the Raven Ranch. Mr Paul Slater." She said haughtily. **

**I spun around so fast that I didn't even notice the hand he had held out in front of me. I was in no mood for pleasantries anyway. I stared up at him in horror as the brilliant smile pasted on his face evaporated. Replaced by a sarcastic smirk.**

"**Susie? Are you okay. You look like you've seen a ghost. You must have misheard me. This is our new ranch hand. Mr Slater." She babbled worriedly. I ignored her instead continued to focus on the guy in front of me. A guy who only a few weeks ago murdered me. _Paul._**

"**Very nice to meet your acquaintance Miss Suzie." He drawled smugly. He was obviously happy about the fact he startled me. I got over my original confusion quickly though, and took that instant to slug him in the stomach. I heard Kathleen gasp as he doubled over in pain. **

"**Keep the hell away from Jesse." I whispered menacingly. He stared up at me with daggers in his eyes. Not literally. Although last time I'd seen him it had been.**

"**Who says it's Jesse I want?" he breathed softly. I stared at him for a moment in annoyance.**

"**Well you can forget it. Keep away from me too. In fact, go back home." I told him angrily. I tried desperately to restrain the fear that was trying to claw its way out of me. The butterflies I could feel this time were not the good kind.**

"**I don't think so Suze." He muttered locking eyes with me. I recoiled as he tried to grab my arm.**

"**I'm going inside Kathleen, are you coming?" I asked with as much composure as I could muster. Kathleen looked from me to him and back again. Then nodded slightly. I had no doubt that she was just nosy as to what he had done to me to warrant the attack. But I was in no position to turn down possible help.**

**I turned towards the house with my head held high. Which was so different from the trembling inside me. I had to warn Jesse. **

"**You can't keep running forever." He yelled. **

**The worst thing was that he was right.**

_**A/N: hey!**_

**_Okay, so a bit of a downer on this chappy. But ya know. Had to do it so that I can fit the whole story together. Seeing as a lot of the stuff certain people believe isn't true. _**

_**But seeing as I'm the only one that knows what the hell I'm going on about I'll shut up. **_

**_Hope you liked this chappy! I wrote it at 12pm after getting back from this amazingly loud Teen Disco thing. (Effectively a nightclub designed for kids). Needless to say, my head and feet are pounding and all I want to do is sleep. But I knew I needed to update so whatever. I'll live._**

_**But yeah….review!**_

**_Up-For-Grabs: An Invisible Puff the Magic Dragon!_**

_**Just push the little blue button and REVIEW!**_


	22. Love Sick

_**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to booksrule39 for being my: 'honest-to-god-number-1 fan'. I really appreciated that! It made me get all emotional. That I actually HAVE a fan. I mean, I know that my gerbil is a fan of my food-bowl-filling skills. But I don't think he has much of a choice in the matter. Lol.**_

_**Thank you so much to all my other reviewers! Especially the ones that review every time I update! It must get very boring. Lol. 22 chapters is a LOT of reviews. So thank you so much for that!**_

_**  
Plus it's snowing as I type! Woo!**_

_**For anyone that cares I've set up a C2 community on here. So check it out and enjoy!**_

_**Man, I'm hyper.**_

_**DEDICATED TO BOOKSRULE39:**_

**I stared out of the dusty window, trying to avoid the conversation I knew was going to come. I mean, okay so I slugged the guy. So what? Well apparently, it's quite a big deal. According to Kathleen it is anyway. And now I was stuck in a room with her, praying that she won't go and get the 19th century CIA on me. Come to think of it, do they even have police? Or are they just a bunch of scary men with pistols that shoot at innocent little girls? Mainly me if I carry on with the luck I've been having.**

"**Susie, please just tell me what is going on. My family are beside themselves thinking that they have somehow offended you. Although I do not see why. If anything, it is Mr Slater whom was insulted." She informed me in her girly voice.**

**I turned to face her a little, so that I could see her face. I could already see the spark in her eyes, telling me that Paul had already worked his charm on her. She was infatuated after a couple of hours. I heaved a huge sigh.**

"**Paul and I have…….history together. We've met in the past." I told her softly. I tactfully left out the part where he and I had made out on his bed. Or the fact that he'd had me murdered. **

"**Romantically?" she asked, carefully casual. She wasn't fooling me though. **

"**No. Not that he didn't try." I replied. She nodded happily, my little slip-up earlier all but forgotten. This wasn't a good sign. No matter how much this girl could annoy me, I wasn't about to sign her over to him. He'd do nothing but hurt her. Paul wasn't big on commitment. Or anything good really. He'd just use her and leave her broken hearted.**

"**Well I better be getting back. I'm meant to show him the ropes, so to speak." She giggled cheerfully. **

**She motioned as if to leave, but I was too fast. I jumped off the window ledge and blocked her way out. She looked at me in puzzlement. I was pretty surprised myself. I never thought I'd be trying to get rid of any girl that wanted to screw around with Paul. I'd always welcomed Kelly's attempts. Mostly because I hoped that way he'd give up on me. **

**This time however was different. **

**She was too naive. And way too innocent. She wouldn't know what had hit her once he started putting the moves on her. Which is why I had to put a stop to it now.**

"**I'll only warn you this once Kathleen. Paul isn't someone you mess with. Cross him and he'll hurt you. Heck, he'll probably hurt you anyway just for the hell of it. Just keep away from him." I warned her calmly. **

**I watched as her face changed from confusion to something else. Anger.**

"**You're jealous aren't you Susie? You just can't cope with the fact that he might be more interested in me." she spat acidly. I looked at her sternly, not even flinching at her words. Mostly because I realised how she was feeling. What with the whole her-liking-Jesse-before thing. I'd been ready to tear her eyes out. **

**Except that she doesn't love Paul. It's just a crush. So it's okay if I break her heart a little. **

"**No actually, you couldn't be more wrong. To cut a long story short he is dangerous and extremely powerful. That's why I acted so strangely earlier. I didn't expect him to be able to follow me here." **

**She opened up her mouth to protest, but shut it again almost instantly. I could see that she was going to be stubborn on this one.**

"**And what has he done to you in the past that deserves such unbearable pain?" she asked icily. **

_**He killed me.**_

**Well, that was what I would have said if I'd intended to give her the truth. Instead I just shook my head and replied:**

"**Just trust me on this one. He isn't a good person to be crushing on." I could tell that she didn't know what 'crushing' meant, but I guess she got the gist. **

**But instead of taking it the way I'd wanted her to, she set her jaw and walked around me. There wasn't much I could do to stop her. Not that I was that bothered any more. She was acting like a spoilt brat. **

**So instead of hounding her further, I opened the door and let her go.**

**It was only then that I realised that she wasn't the only one that had heard what I had just said. She turned and faced me with a triumphant grin on her face. **

**It seemed that Jesse wasn't going to avoid me after all.**


	23. Touch of an Angel

**_A/N: Heya people! I'm really sorry about the long wait. I've been banned from MSN and now I've been banned from the internet as well. Lol. But luckily I managed to get back on it, thanks to my brilliant sweet-talking skills. The things I do for angry reviewers…………………….._**

**_Hope you like this! It took FOREVER to write! (It's much longer than usual) _**

_**REVIEW!**_

**So basically I was dead meat. Jesse had heard everything. And from the way he was looking at me right at that moment in time, I could tell he was not impressed. I'm not sure what shocked him more: me knowing Paul Slater or me hitting him for no apparent reason. He must think I am SO mentally unstable right now, I thought to myself moodily. How could I have been stupid enough to say all that with him being outside? Why didn't I think before I opened my mouth?**

_**And what the hell was he doing listening in to my private conversations anyway?**_

**I mean, wasn't there like, some law against that back in Ye Old Ranch-House Days? Not that I'd report him anyway, but still. It was just kind of weird to picture Jesse on the wrong side of the law, so to speak. He just seems so…..un-law-break-ery. Is that even a word? Whatever. **

"**Susannah, what do you think you are doing associating with a man like that?" he asked me furiously. I cocked my head in the direction of the window.**

"**He bumped into me out there. Any 'associating' between us was nothing to do with me." I informed him calmly. I leant back against the bed post slightly to make myself more comfortable. I was so not prepared to ruin my dress on the chalk wall.**

"**But you said you knew him before-"he began in outrage. But I just cut him off.**

"**And it was the biggest mistake of my life. Believe me."**

**I saw Kathleen puff up her chest slightly, to come to the defence of her precious Paul-y. She obviously didn't like the way me and Jesse were referring to him. She is possibly THE most fickle person I have ever met. I had no doubt in my mind that she had about twenty different marriages planned out for herself, with her many unsuspecting suitors.**

**As long as she keeps her claws out of Jesse she'll be fine.**

"**How can you both talk so roguishly about such a lovely sensitive man?" she asked in wonder. She shook her head, making her curls swish against her back. I just stared at her in amazement.**

"**Are you sure you've met the same guy I've known for the past year? Because that sure as hell isn't the way I'd describe him-"I began, but she cut me off.**

"**Well you obviously aren't a very good judge of character-"**

"**Manipulative, evil, demonic, sardonic, chauvinist-"I continued as if I'd never even heard her. **

"**Susie, stop being so rude! I'm trying to hold a fair-"**

"**-Rude. Thanks for that one Kathleen. Antagonistic, cruel, pompous, creepy, stalkerish. Is that a word? Maybe not-"**

"**SUSIE!" she screeched about ten octaves higher than I'd ever heard anyone screech before. It was like one of those weird bats that do that sonar thing with their tongue. You know the kind? The ones that screech so high pitched that they know were they are from the vibrations that travel back. Doc told me last year after he interrupted Jesse kissing me after the whole shadowland thing.**

**Personally, I would have preferred the kiss. But maybe I'm just being a little too picky.**

"**Hey, you started it little miss I'm-Gonna-Marry-The-Spawn-Of-Satan." I hissed back. I guess that –back well, now really- that was some major insult. She sucked in air like one of those carp-fish for a few seconds before just shooting daggers at me with her eyes.**

**Round one to Susannah Simon. The girl with no viable identity.**

"**Both of you be quite." Jesse –I kid you not- muttered. It was like one of those possessed people in a horror movie. Jesse's alter-ego: The Mutterer. **

**Plus I think he was being way harsh on me. I mean, it isn't exactly my fault that the girl in front of me is a Kelly-Prescott-Wannabe, who throws herself at everything with a pulse and certain genitals. It was my duty –as an inhabitant of this Earth as well as a Mediator- to prevent any future Paul-ish offspring. That would just be so wrong.**

**Mini stalkers to help their daddy destroy the world! Woo! So NOT gonna happen.**

**I mentioned this to them, but neither of them looked that impressed by my superior concern for the well-being of the universe. Geniuses are so under-appreciated in this time. I mean, look at the guy who discovered leather mini-skirts. Where is he when you need him?**

"**Look I'm not getting into this conversation. Okay? Just take my word for it. Paul equals bad news." I informed them coolly. Jesse wasn't buying it though. I could see the sceptical expression on his face from all the way across the room. Kathleen on the other hand had obviously had enough of my cryptic warnings. She pushed right past me with a huff. She did not look happy about the situation.**

"**Fine. Be like that then. But when I own half the land in California and you want a share, then……….don't come crying to me!" she practically yelled. But I could tell her voice was too tired from the whole squeaky-thing to take too much strain. **

**I almost got distracted from how truly lame her response was. I mean, come on. Who even says that any more? **

**I was about to let her go with a simple "Suit yourself." When I reconsidered. She was way too 'It Kid' for my liking. What with her perfect hair and zero brain capacity. **

"**Listen once and listen good. I did not come to this stupid century to just let blonde madams –such as yourself- try and control my every movement. I happen to have an opinion. I also happen to not give a damn what anyone here thinks about me. And I don't even think I like you. But do you know what? I'm going to help you anyway. I may even save your snobby little life one day. So how's about: you shut up and pay attention for once?" **

**Well THAT certainly shut her up. She looked at me for a minute and nodded. Dawning recognition in her eyes. She so knew not to screw with me now.**

"**Okay. I promise to be careful. But I positively refuse to stop seeing him. I personally think he seems a very nice gentleman." She told me snootily. I rolled my eyes. Obviously this was the best that I was going to get.**

"**Fine. Just watch your back. Okay?"**

"**Fine. Now can I go? I'm late as it is." She insisted. **

"**Go knock yourself out." I replied tensely. She looked at me in horror.**

"**I beg your pardon?" **

"**It's a figure of speech. Jeez, what do they teach you guys up here?" I asked in indignation. She continued to look puzzled.**

"**Obviously not enough, as you seem to have demonstrated." Jesse interrupted with a small smile. I almost melted then and there. He was just so cute when he smiled.**

"**Well as riveting as this conversation is, I really must be going. Good day to you sir." Kathleen said in her usual haughty manner. She curtsied prettily before turning out into the open corridor. **

**This time I didn't bother to stop her. **

**I figured that she could look after herself. For now I had more pressing problems. Like how I was going to get around Jesses' suspicion. I could see it in his eyes. Or maybe I just over-analyse stuff. **

"**Who is he?" Jesse asked in this oh-so-very-calm voice. It was almost too calm. **

**Plus I knew what he really meant. What he really wanted to know was: what is Paul to me. Like, relationship-wise. Which of course was very irritating given that I'd just gone through this once already with one very dumb blonde. Namely Miss Kathleen.**

"**Paul is psychopathic jerk whose one ambition in life is to make my own living hell." I replied irritated. So maybe it wasn't the best explanation. So what?**

"**You told Miss Kathleen that he was your…….friend?" he pressed. I snorted. Yeah, if you call a friend someone who kills you because you refuse to make-out with them.**

**That'd make Paul the greatest friend ever.**

**NOT.**

**So not.**

"**Paul is no friend of mine. Enemy yes. Acquaintance maybe. But friend? Hell no." I was aware that I was being rude, but right then I truly didn't care.**

**The funny thing was that when I looked into Jesses' eyes, I couldn't help noticing……well, a spark. I know that sounds stupid, but whatever. And if I wasn't mistaken it looked very much like jealousy. But why the hell would Jesse be jealous? I mean, he doesn't even like me! Well, the whole kissing-me-thing may indicate otherwise. But still. If he liked me in _that way _then he would have told me. **

"**So you don't like him then?" Jesse asked again. I stared at him in annoyance.**

"**No. Why are you so bothered about who I like anyway?" **

**THAT shut him up. He kind of scanned me with his eyes for a minute, to see if I was about to go mental at him. I have no idea why. It was like he was trying to read me. Well I got news for you buddy: it isn't going to work when I'm in constant fashion crisis mode. I'm too uptight as it is. **

"**I was just looking out for your well-being _Querida. _Mr Slater does not seem like a very good man to me." he said. I couldn't help but smile a little when he said that. Of course that would be why. Jesse cares about everyone. Even if they are rude little liars that have no plausible identity.**

"**Thanks for the advice, but I think you'll find that I can look after myself just fine." I informed him a little harsher than I'd intended.**

"**No _Querida._ Even you need rescuing every so often." He smiled. He must have realised he made a fatal error as soon as the words escaped his lips.**

"**I'm fine. Better than fine even. And I certainly don't need to be rescued. Not by anyone." I hissed angrily. If anything his grin grew broader.**

"**I'm sure your tongue scares away many a rogue that comes your way." he chuckled. I didn't see the funny side though. I mean, I've been taking care of myself for practically my whole life. Then he comes along and just expects to get away with saying something like _that._**

"**I don't know what you're talking about Jesse. I've only encountered one rogue on my little trip and _he _doesn't seem to be _getting the message_."**

**Which of course he took all offensively. He stopped laughing almost immediately. I'd loved to have seen what happens when Maria –the skank that she is- insults him. It must be so hard for him to just keep it all bottled up. I mean, he's almost as hot-headed as me. And that's saying something.**

**Suddenly I had an urge to ask him something very important.**

"**Are you going to marry her?" **

**He looked at me questioningly for a minute before finally figuring out what I meant.**

"**I don't know. Things have become complicated." He explained tiredly. He ran a hand through his thick, dark hair. A simple action which mesmerised me.**

"**Complicated how?" I asked breathlessly. Suddenly the air seemed to get much thicker around me, making it difficult to breath. But in a good way. Like when you were little and you got given your first bike. Except better than that. **

**I could do nothing but stand in horror as Jesse leant towards me again. It was a scene I was oh-so-familiar with now. And even though I really wanted to kiss him, I knew there was something more important I had to say.**

**So instead of flinging my arms around his neck and kissing him, like I wanted to. I placed my hands against his chest and pushed him back slightly. I could see how shocked Jesse was by his actions. He obviously hadn't planned any of that.**

"**Susannah I'm so sorry. I am completely-"**

"**Jesse, there's something I've got to tell you. And I have a feeling that you're not going to like it." I whispered, still staring at his hypnotic lips.**

"**Susannah, you don't have to explain. I was stupid for thinking that-"**

"**Jesse! It's nothing to do with that. It's just; I'm not from a ranch."**

"**I think I can believe that." He told me with a small smile. I narrowed my eyes at him menacingly.**

"**The truth is…..how can I put this in a way you'll understand?" I babbled. **

"**Susannah, you aren't some kind of escaped murderer are you?" he asked soberly. **

"**Jesse this is serious." I complained tiredly. His smile turned to a frown as he realised I wasn't just messing around.**

"**I'm listening _Querida." _But let me just tell you now: it is HARD to concentrate when you just turned down a kiss from the man of your dreams. **

"**Okay, please don't think I'm a psycho, but, after Paul stabbed me-"**

"**What? He harmed you? Why didn't you mention this before Susannah? That-" Jesse raged angrily. He made a move towards the door, but it was an action I cut short by turning the latch.**

"**Jesse, just listen okay? Paul stabbed me. But not during your lifetime." I told him quickly. Jesse still looked angry, but some of it disappeared, being replaced by confusion.**

"**That isn't possible Susannah." He informed me.**

"**Yes it is Jesse. You see the reason I'm not from around here –the reason I had to lie about my family- is because I'm from the year 2005. Not 1850."**

**Jesse stood there for a minute in astonishment. It was like he didn't quite understand what he was being told. Which is a new one for Jesse. He usually understands everything.**

"**I don't understand." Jesse said, voicing the obvious. I looked at him sadly. I knew this would end in tears.**

"**I know you don't Jesse. And that's why I'm going to stop you being murdered and get the hell out of here. You don't deserve to die again. Even if I do love you." **

**It was only after the words slipped out that I realised what I'd said. And from the look on Jesse's face he had too. **

**He leant forwards again, and this time I didn't try to stop him. I followed my heart for once, letting my arms slip around his neck. Looking up at him I realised that he was surprised by his actions as I was. Not that he was going to let it stop him, as he leant down and brushed his lips against my own. And for a minute I was in my own perfect little world, where nothing could ever come between us.**

**But I was brought back to reality when I heard a knock at the door.**

_**Maria.**_

**Ruining yet another perfect moment with Jesse.**


	24. Chasing Shadows

**_Dedicated to: 'Esodes08', for totally cracking me up with her hilarious review. lol_**

**My life is over. Jesse and Maria are getting married today and……..my life is OVER. How can I stay here knowing that Jesse is with that skank 'in sickness and in health'? Pacing the barn for ideas wasn't helping, and neither was Kathleen's mindless babbling about her and Paul's future.**

"……**and he's just_ so_ perfect!" she gushed happily. I felt physically sick. I couldn't take it. **

"**Can you just shut the hell up for five seconds?" I asked angrily. I spun around to face her. She looked shocked at my outburst. So was I come to think of it. I practically had 'mentally insane' written on my forehead.**

"**What is wrong?" she inquired softly. And for once her eyes weren't reproachful. Instead she looked genuinely worried. I guess love changed her. I must just get the crappy love no-one else wants.**

**Yet another score for the screwed up universe.**

"**Nothing." I answered quickly. Maybe too quickly. She suddenly looked at me like she knew exactly what I was going through.**

"**You love him don't you?" she commented sympathetically. It wasn't really a question. The answer went unspoken between us.**

"**You wouldn't understand." I said unsteadily. My whole world was falling apart. I could practically feel it shattering around me. And the worst thing was that there was nothing I could do about it. Because Jesse loves Maria. Not me. I was stupid for ever believing differently.**

**I mentioned this much to her, but she just looked at me like I'd gone mad.**

"**What are you talking about Susie? Jesse doesn't love Maria! Why do you think he asked her to meet him here?"**

"**To share a passionate night of chess?" I guessed without humour. She glared at me.**

"**He was going to break it off with her! He finally realised that he couldn't marry someone whom he did not love. But now-"**

"**But now what?" I asked. My heart which had suddenly seemed to return to its flip-floppy self stopped once again. **

"**She found him with you. If news of that got out you'd be ruined. Jesse won't let that happen." She sighed miserably. I stared at her, unable to believe what I'd just heard.**

"**So Jesse's going to marry her……to protect my reputation?" I stuttered in horror. She nodded sadly in reply. **

"**Then it's all my fault! If I hadn't come then……."**

"**I would have never met you." I turned sharply to find Jesse standing beside me. Kathleen gasped obviously realising that he'd heard her gossiping about him. But what about me? He'd listened to me confess my love for him. **

**_Oh way to go score points with him. Not. _**

"**Can you leave us alone for a minute please?" he asked Kathleen, without even stopping to glance at her. She bobbed her head quickly before rushing out. I had the feeling that Paul would be along soon. **

"**Susannah……."  
**

"**Don't you _dare _'Susannah' me Jesse. Are you going to marry her?" I asked tightly.**

**I watched as he ploughed a trembling hand through his hair. What is it with boys and doing that? I wondered abstractly. He looked up at me sadly. **

"**I cannot let her destroy two people at once. She won't stop until she's hurt you and…"**

"**Are you going to marry her?" I repeated in this madly calm voice that I hardly recognised as my own. **

"**Please just listen to me Susannah…." He grabbed my arms protectively. An action which normally would have made me melt on the spot. I shrugged off his hands and folded my arms across my chest.**

"**Are you going to marry her?" I asked once again. I watched grimly as he began pacing the floor in a manor very similar to my own.**

"**I don't have any other choice." He told me. I just glared at him.**

"**I'm not letting you do this for me Jesse. Why the hell do you think I came back here?" **

**Now it was his turn to turn and stare. I could see him trying to remember some of what I'd said last night. But he must have been having the same problem I was. With our kiss kind of taking the limelight on all the other memories from yesterday.**

"**Susannah, I have to do this. If I don't then……"**

"**If you agree to marry her then she'll have you murdered Jesse. She loves this totally psychotic jerk called Diego. I'm guessing that you know him." **

"**Diego?" Jesse repeated sounding angry. But not in a jealous way. Like he couldn't quite understand it. And boy did I know what he was going through.  
**

"**Yes, Diego. She wants out Jesse. So she can live with her little slave-running murderer and make…um….cakes together."**

"**Cakes?" Jesse asked sounding amused. I tried to hold a straight face.**

"**Cakes. Didn't you know that Maria is a keen chocolate sponge fanatic?" I replied innocently. Jesse didn't look all that bothered by his girlfriends' weak point though. Instead he was looking at me again. Hard. **

"**How do you know all this?" he asked me in awe.**

"**I_ told_ you Jesse, I'm from the future. I came back to stop you being murdered and to……well, don't worry about the other bit."**

"**What other bit? Susannah, just tell me." I tried desperately to avoid his eyes. The problem was that it didn't work very well.**

"**Look Jesse…this is going to sound weird but…..when Paul stabbed me. Back in 2005 I mean. He kind of killed me. And so I had to come back to your time to change my destiny."**

"**Why back to my time?" he asked, obviously trying to take it all in without questioning it too much. **

"**Because in the future. You were killed by Diego, and…..um……your ghost lives kind of near me." I finished lamely. Jesse wasn't buying it though. His eyebrow hiked up in amusement.**

"**Am I making any sense?" I asked, rubbing my temples. Explaining was hard work.**

"**Yes _Querida _you are making perfect sense." He smiled grimly. I nodded. At least he got what I was getting at. Vaguely. But I guess it's better than nothing.**

"**And now I have to go and you have to break off your engagement." I told him firmly. **

"**Why do you have to leave?" he asked suddenly.**

"**Jesse, I'm not made for this time. I'm not allowed to stay here. I've done my job. Now promise me you won't marry Maria." I explained tiredly. **

"**I won't marry Maria." He promised sincerely. I smiled softly. I was glad that he would at least get a chance to live. After all Maria only had him killed to stop him marrying her. So if he broke it off then she could do whatever the hell she wanted WITHOUT any murders.**

**My work was done.**

**I turned to leave silently, glad for once that I wasn't babbling.**

"**Susannah don't…….."**

**But that was all I heard before the world faded away. Leaving me back were the whole thing began. Back in the shadowland.**

_**A/N: I promise I'll update ALL my fics this week. I haven't updated in ages. I've had awful writers block and I think I've finally got them all sorted. Almost. **_

_**Chocolate eggs do that to you. Lol.**_

_**Please Review!**_


	25. The Game is Won

**The mist swirled around my feet sending chills up my spine, as the doors reappeared. Then slowly all but two disappeared becoming mist once more. It was strangely peaceful up here, away from the world I left behind. This was death right? I'd done what I had been sent there to do and now I was going to die. After leaving Jesse that prospect seemed a lot less frightening. I knew that he'd be happy at least. **

"**We meet again." Madam Zara sighed softly. I allowed myself a small smile.**

"**Yeah. At least it's over now." I sniffed. She gave me a wry smile in return.**

"**No. It isn't." she replied with a chuckle. I stared at her in horror. This was meant to be over. I'd let Jesse live his life and I'd made peace with myself and….and….it was _over._**

**And yeah, so maybe I didn't put a dent in Paul's skull. So what? I could deal. I could so totally deal if it meant that I could just forget everything. Which is weird I guess. I was so determined to live and to keep fighting. But now I'd just given up. I couldn't take it anymore. Plus Paul would probably make living without Jesse even harder. He'd remind me of it every day. This was his fault.**

"**What are you talking about?" I choked in shock. She laughed again, but for once she actually seemed happy. She wasn't dribbling on about prophesies and fate and stuff. She looked genuinely pleased for me. **

"**It seems that Mr De Silva isn't about to give up as easily as you." she informed me with a small smile. I just continued to stare at her in a daze.**

"**_What?"_ I asked softly. I didn't understand a word that she was saying. I was dead. What did it matter what Jesse was feeling now? It was too late. I'd blown it. Because of my dumb destiny which he could never have a part of apparently.**

"**You did what I asked of you. You managed to make a him fall in love with you again. Which means –"**

"**Nothing. I'm dead and he's in a totally different _era_ to me!" I cried angrily. She was making stuff ten times worse. She was making it sound like –**

"**You have a choice. The final choice. The one that your destiny was leading up to all along."**

**I just shook my head, noticing for the first time the two doors situated in front of me. Jesse loved me. I'd been the biggest bitch in the world and he still loved me. How wonderfully screwed up is that?**

"**He wants you back. You have the choice though. Go through the first door and you can go back to the present. Back to where you were before all this. Except Jesse will not be there and your destiny will lead you to Paul –"**

"**He killed me! No way will I EVER fall in lo-"**

"**Please let me finish Susannah. The other door leads back to 1850. And you will be able to live with Jesse till the day you both die. With no destiny involved in it."**

"**And Paul?"**

"**Will be gone. I've had enough of that little idiot to last me a lifetime." She replied in mild annoyance. I blinked. **

**Once.**

**Twice.**

"**And I get to choose either?" I asked again just to be clear. She smiled warmly at me.**

"**Yes my dear. Enjoy the rest of your life. I have a feeling it will be most interesting."**

**I walked through the second door without a backward glance. I'd done it! I'd managed to cheat destiny using love. How weird is that? I never knew there were loop-holes in that kind of thing.**

**Stepping back onto the dry dirt track felt like heaven. I knew it was going to be a hard struggle. But with Jesse here I knew that everything would be okay. It had to be. Because he loves me! I picked out a familiar silhouette in the distance. _Jesse._**

**I think it was the fastest I've run in my whole life, and yet it still seemed to take a lifetime. When I finally reached him a noticed how shocked he looked. He grabbed my hand protectively. Which is kind of strange I guess. But I guess the whole public intimacy deal is different back….well now I guess. Seeing as this is my present now. I was pleased to note that he wasn't wearing a wedding ring. He hadn't married Maria.**

"**Susannah what happened? One minute you were there and the next you were……" he began shakily. I smiled slightly aware that there was going to be a lot that I would have to explain to him.**

"**Gone? I was late for a previous appointment. It was rather unavoidable." I smiled happily. **

**_He was here! _I could barely stop myself from screaming I was so hyper. I wanted to –**

**Then in that moment he seemed to read my mind as he leant down and kissed me. As I wrapped my arms around his neck I felt something that I'd never been aware of before.**

**Hope. **

**Everything was going to be okay. **

"**Never disappear like that again." he whispered against my lips. I grinned.**

"**I'll try my best." **

A/N: And that is the end of Stranded Sweetheart. I am seriously debating doing a sequel (as I don't already have enough going on with my other fics. Lol)

It'd be fun to follow what happens to them though. Seeing as I kind of already know. lol.

Well, I hope you enjoyed it. To all my reviewers: you have been AMAZING. I'm totally serious. I never imagined getting so much support for this. So cheers!

Now please review one more time! And I'll attempt to fit in a sequel thingy.

Thanks again folks!

Angel-


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